44. Dealing with calories on menus

Following the introduction of the new UK legislation this week requiring all large restaurants and cafes to include calories on their menus, I'm talking about this, offering you some guidance and tips on how to get around this and make eating out a little less uncomfortable.


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Please note, this podcast is intended to be general information for entertainment purposes only. Any figures quoted are correct at the time of recording. As always, please seek the support of a registered professional before making changes to your diet or lifestyle⁠, or if you feel that you are affected by any of the topics discussed.

Related Topics:

Intuitive Eating, HAES, Health At Every Size, Body Positivity, Body Confidence, Body Positive, Anti Diet, Non Diet, Diet Culture, Food Freedom, Fat Acceptance, Fat Liberation, Self Care, Weight Loss, Eating Disorder, Eating Disorder Recovery, Disordered Eating, Nutritional Therapy, Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Cambridge Diet, Cambridge Plan, 121 Diet, Lighter Life, Noom, Coaching, Healing, Health, Wellness, Calorie Counting, Macros

Transcript

Welcome to the intuitive eating and body positivity podcast. I'm Terri and I'll be talking about all things intuitive eating, body positivity, and Health at Every Size, and shaking off weight stigma, diet culture and food rules, so that we all have a better relationship with food and our bodies.

Hello, how are you? I have a better voice than I had last week. So that's good, isn't it? Hopefully, I'm not going to croak through this the same way I did last week's episode. Oh, that was hard going. But it's definitely a bit better this week so you should be able to understand me a little better this week. 

You want an update from the tails of the cat diaries? She is still not happy. I think that's the only way to describe her at the moment. Bless her. We went back to the vets she had her cast changed. She's now got a cast that goes all the way up to under her arm. That's the only way I can describe it. I know she's got four legs. I know she doesn't have arms. But to me, she's got two arms and legs. But this new cast goes right the way up to her armpit to stop it slipping and to stop her chewing on the top of it because she was starting to eat it, and I won't tell you what delights we've had as a result of her eating her cast. But let's just say she now can't chew and eat and to try and digest the top of her cast. I will put a photo on social media today. So if you are listening to this today, the day that it's released, then yeah, have a look at Instagram because I put it on my stories. 

She's not a happy cat bless her. She's got a little bit more free roam of the house now though. So that's always a good thing. So she can go and sit and look out the window upstairs and she can lounge around on the bed and stuff. So she's a little bit happier for that. Roll on when it comes off that's all I can say because the sooner that happens and the sooner she's fit and well and able to go back outside the better but she's getting there. She's doing all right love her. 

The other one, the younger one, well, she's just a bit confused as to why sometimes the cat flap is locked and sometimes it's not locked. Oh, poor little thing. She's she's good though. She's a little cutie too. 

I don't think anything else has happened, though I can tell you about. Again, I'm still at home. I'm still not at work so I am really quite limited in my experiences. I went to the garden centre is that if any interest to you? I got some new plants for the garden. That's fun, isn't it? I do find it very therapeutic though wandering around a garden centre. Came home with some veg plants and a little baby tree. Yeah, it's all right. It's going to blossom and bloom in my garden again this year. I've got to wait till payday to go back and get more flowers, though. It's definitely not a cheap thing to do make your garden look nice is it but it's good for the soul, that's what I think. It's good for the soul. 

Now then, this week, I've changed my schedule again, because something has happened here in the UK and it is worth talking about. What I will say is, I don't know what the situation is across the rest of the world. So if you are not in the UK, this may be a completely new thing to you or it may be something that you've had for decades and we just haven't done the same thing as you, so bear with if you already have this. 

But this week in the UK, they have introduced calories on menus. So our government has decided that what we should do is that we should be more fatphobic and we should really make dining out a very uncomfortable experience for people. Now, any restaurant, cafe, eatery of any kind, that has over 250 employees, now has to have calories labelled on the menu. What a ridiculous idea. It's not a new thing altogether. There are some places that have already implemented it off their own back, but as an actual law to have it on menu is under actual government legislation, it's just crazy. I really just think it's crazy. And it's so damaging for such a lot of people. 

So the government have gone out to try and reduce the big O word. They are trying to reduce obesity, and clearly, the only way to do this is to guilt and shame people into not eating. That's what it is, isn't it? It's guilt tripping. It's shaming inducing. It's fear inducing for a lot of people. 

Their solution to what they see as a problem, that isn't even a problem is to make people feel so guilty and ashamed of the food that they're eating, that they are tricked into eating less, they are forced to eat less, they are forced to make lower calorie choices on menus. It's so problematic, it's so unbelievably problematic. I know there are some big names in the field that are already talking about this but you know, you don't follow everybody I follow I'm sure, so you may not have seen it. 

So I thought I would talk to you about it this week, we'll put some rationale towards it. And we will try and give you some help and guidance with how to navigate this horrible, horrible new law. 

So firstly, if you don't know, it's absolutely fine. No shame in not knowing. But let me explain to you why it's problematic in the first place. There are a lot of people that are really going to struggle with having these numbers on a menu. People with eating disorders, people with disordered eating behaviours, people with poor body image, or low self esteem, people who don't cope well with social situations, and eating in social situations. These are all people that are going to struggle with having these numbers on menus, because it is going to point out a value in what they're eating. 

That's what it's doing. The numbers represent something, the numbers represent how good food is, or bad food is, the numbers represent whether it's going to make somebody gain weight, or lose weight, that sort of thing. So if somebody's already struggling with food, with issues around food with issues around their body, this is an extra layer of worry for them to overcome. And for people who find it challenging to go out for a meal anyway, can you imagine how this will make them feel. 

So they've psyched themselves up to go out for this meal to eat in a way that is not within their control, to choose foods that they are not preparing, so they have no idea what's in it, to go out and do that, to build up the strength, the energy, the motivation to grow and do that, and then be faced with a menu that tells them how many calories are in their food can be very, very triggering. But of course, the government doesn't care about that, do they? They are just trying to make people lose weight, and lose weight people will if they have an eating disorder, but they haven't considered that. They haven't considered the damaging side of this new law. 

Now, as people with eating issues, we have to know that this is just going to be there, okay, this is going to be there, and there isn't anything we can do about that because it is now the law. However, there are some ways to work around this. There are some ways to help yourself. So let me talk you through a few of those. 

Firstly, go to the small, independent eateries. Go to those lovely little cafes and restaurants that you like so much because they're not part of a bigger chain. Go to those because if they have less than 250 employees, which the very small independents will have, they don't have to put calories on their menus. So you can go in pretty much safe in the knowledge that there's not going to be calories on menus. Now, rewind a bit. This is not an absolute guarantee on my part because remember a little bit earlier I said some places have already done this. Some places have already adopted it. But if you are unsure of whether they will have it on the menu or not call ahead. Ring and ask. Just make a quick call and say we'd like to come and have some food with you, could you tell me, do you have calorie labels on your menus please? And it'll just be a yes or no, it's not going to be a problem. The restaurant owner is not going to mind. Nobody's going to mind you calling and asking a basic question about the menu. That's all it is a basic question. Just a quick question with a yes, no answer.

Make the call ahead of time and then you will be safe in the knowledge that you've chosen somewhere that doesn't have to have it by law, and doesn't have it because they've chosen not to have it. 

Of course, we're not always going to be avoiding those larger chains are we. There's always going to be times where we go and have something in a bigger chain restaurant or cafe. If you're going to go to one of those, there are still things that you can do to look after yourself. 

You can ask for a menu that doesn't have the calories detailed on it. Some may have this, some may not have it. But as you go in, you can ask if they have a version of the menu that has no calories listed on it. I did put a post up on social media today. That said, wouldn't it be nice if restaurants would just offer this to you as you went in? Would you like a menu that's got calories? Or would you like a menu that doesn't have calories on it? Wouldn't that be a nice question to be asked as you were seated, or as you were offered the menus? Wouldn't that be nice? Until that day comes, because I think restaurants will shape up and recognise that they have to do this, until that day comes, you can ask for yourself. 

I know it's not an easy thing to do. I know it does make you feel a little bit like you might stand out as the only person in the world who has asked for this menu that doesn't have calories on, but I promise you you're not. I've seen on social media already people empowered by the fact that they've gone in and they've asked for it themselves. They've gone in and they have said I would like a menu that does not have calories on it, please. And from what I've seen so far, these people have not been met with any animosity, they've just been given the menu that they were asked for. So these places might still have some old menus hanging around out the back somewhere. There's got the detail that's got the same menu but doesn't have the calories. So you can ask, it's okay to ask. 

I also saw on Pixie Turner's feed, that specials boards don't have to have calorie labels on because those menu items are not going to be in place for more than 30 days. So if the menu is freaking you out, if there are calories on there, and you can't handle it, hit the specials boards, go and see the specials boards, because they will not have calories on. And if the restaurant is put calories on, they shouldn't have done it. 

Another option is to look at the menu before you go. Now you can do this one of two ways. You can either have somebody else read the menu to you, so you don't see those calories, or you can look at it in the knowledge that you're going to see the calories but because you're looking at it in advance, it will help you to prepare. It will help you to know what you want to eat, and what it's going to mean for you calorie wise. It's still a very difficult thing to do, but if you can do that before you leave the house, before you go to the restaurant, then at least there's no nasty surprises. You will have the time to mull it over, make your decision, see what you're comfortable eating, before you're sat in that space and the waitress is saying, are you ready to order yet? Because obviously, every waitress thinks that people order in two minutes flat, don't they? Why does that happen? They come over. Are you ready yet? No, I'm not ready yet. I've just sat down. Oh, would you like a couple of minutes? Yes, please. That would be lovely.

But if you don't want to feel pressurised, if you don't want to be in that situation, then you can take the time to look it over a home first. Even better, like I say, if you've got somebody there that can read it to you and can help you with it that can take some of the pressure away as well. 

You can also ask people not to talk about the calories on the menu. So if you're going to go to a place and it's got calories on the menu, you can ask the people that you're eating with not to discuss it, because it's irrelevant. No one cares. No one wants to know how many calories are in the meal you're choosing. Just choose the meal and enjoy it. That's the kind of approach you want to take to how you talk to these people. Or you can say look, this is a real problem for me and really worried about this. So I'd rather we didn't talk about the calories on the menu while we're sat here deciding what to eat. 

Either which way, you could either make a joke of it and say, no one should care, don't talk about the calories, or you can tell them that it's going to be an issue for you, you feel uncomfortable, and ask them to respectfully not talk about the calories that are on the menu. It's a natural thing to do, I think for people, isn't it. Ah this has got X amount of calories, blimey, I better not eat for the next six weeks if I eat that. That kind of conversation. Whether they mean it or not, whether they're saying it in jest or not, it's a very uncomfortable situation for you. So ask them, ask them nicely not to have that conversation basically. 

Also have somebody around that you can talk to after, somebody that you trust to talk to you after, it's really nice to have a debrief, isn't it. It's really nice to have somebody you can talk to and say, that was really quite hard for me. Or actually, that was fine. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. But it's nice to have that chat after and see how you felt about it. And then actually, you can look at what changes you might make next time. Or if it was fine, somebody to actually celebrate that with and say, you know, that went well, I'm really happy with how I felt, that was okay, I'm quite surprised, I'm really pleased with how I handled that. Whatever it is, you need to feel, it's nice to talk to somebody else about that. 

What you do not need to do is restrict before you go, it can be really easy to try and restrict your food before you go anyway, without the added pressure of having these calories on the menus. So it can be really easy to think I'm not going to have lunch, because I'm going out tonight. Or I'm going out for lunch so I'll just have something very small in the evening. You know, those kinds of thoughts. But you don't need to do that. 

Likewise, you don't have to restrict after either. It's equally as easy to when you're sat at home later in the day starting to feel a bit hungry, because that's what happens when our bodies run out of food, to talk yourself out of eating because you had a big meal. Because you had a lunch. Because you had more calories than you were planning on having. With these calories now on menus, you're more likely to question how that fits in with a day's amount of food. So come the evening, if you're considering how much you've eaten in the day, knowing how many calories you've had is going to make it easier to talk yourself out of eating in the evening. 

And that's not okay. If you're hungry you need to eat. If you're genuinely not hungry, then that's fine, but if you are hungry or bit peckish or fancy bit to eat, whatever it is, however you feel, if you want to eat, you really should eat. It doesn't matter how many calories you heard earlier in the day, if your body is asking you to eat, it's important that you eat. 

You also don't need to restrict the size of your portions around it. So maybe you're going to go out for an evening meal. So you think I'll just have a small breakfast and a small lunch. I'll just have a couple of small snacks. Or maybe you go out for lunch. And so later, you think, well, I'll just have a very small light meal. 

The restriction is where the problem is. The restriction is the thing driving the urge to binge, the urge to eat things that you maybe wouldn't necessarily have eaten if you'd had a normal sized meal when you wanted it. In restricting the size of those meals, you're actually only going to drive yourself to want to have a bigger meal, or to want to have the food that you wouldn't normally choose on a menu. Because that's what restriction does. Restriction makes you obsessed with food. It makes you driven to seek food. So knowing that the restriction is going to be the problem in this whole situation, it's wise to just eat what you need to eat. 

The other place that it's possible to restrict is during the meal itself. This is ultimately what the government were looking for when they did this. They are asking you to choose the less calorific items on the menu. And if you are in a poor place with food, this is exactly what it's going to drive you to do, so be aware of that. You need to be making the choices based on what you want to eat, how hungry you are, that sort of thing, you shouldn't be choosing off a menu based on how many calories it has. That because those calories are there, it then becomes easier for you to start saying things in your head, like, I'll just have a smaller meal, or I won't have a starter, and I won't have a dessert, because I'm gonna have so many calories on the main meal. 

All these thoughts that may not be there, if those calories weren't on the menu, are now popping up, aren't they? As soon as you catch those naughty food police in your head, as soon as you hear people saying, I won't have a starter, I won't have a dessert, nip it in the bud. Stop it there and then. Those thoughts are not welcome. You are going to have this meal, you're going to enjoy it. You're gonna eat what satisfies you, you're going to have what you want, and you're going to enjoy it. 

Think of the money that you're spending as well. Do you want to pay to have a good meal? Or do you want to pay for guilt and shame? I make light of that but it is the reality, isn't it? Are you going to pay for a meal that you're happy to eat, or are you going to pay for a meal that you're not really happy to eat? Because that is your choice. I know that I personally won't go out and have a salad, for example. I wouldn't order a salad off menu because I don't enjoy a salad. It's just one of those meals I don't particularly enjoy. That's not because of what it is, it's just not the type of food that I like to eat. 

So if I'm going to go out, I want to order some things that I wouldn't cook at home, for example, we don't have steak very often at home. So I might have a steak something like that, or I might have ribs or something like that, because I don't have those foods at home very often and I really like them. So if I was going to go out, I want to choose a meal on the menu that satisfies me, that I will enjoy, and that I will be happy to pay for. So maybe that's something else you can add to your list of thoughts while you're trying to decide, are you happy to pay for it, just to put a little different spin on it there. 

And finally, you don't need to engage in those disordered eating behaviours after your meal. If you've gone, you've ignored the calories, you've had what you wanted, you had the most luxurious thing on the menu, because that is what you wanted you do not have to compensate for that. Whatever the behaviour is that you take part in, that makes you feel better about the food that you've eaten, you don't need to do that. 

Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that you've been out and you've enjoyed food, hopefully with people that you wanted to enjoy it with. You've had a nice time, you've had a trip out the house, you've done something different. Maybe just enjoy what you've done. Just enjoy that. There is no need for you to be so full of guilt over what you've eaten, that you think you need to do something to compensate for that, and to kind of make it better I guess. 

And finally, remember, calories, do not equal health. Calories do not tell you how nutritious that food is, how health maximising it is, how satisfying it is. The calories don't tell you whether it's good food or bad food because remember, there is no good and bad food. All food has a place. None is more morally better than the other. Calories on a menu don't tell you how that food is going to work in your body. How much of it is going to be digested? How much of it you're going to convert to energy. How much of it your body needs and doesn't need. Calories on a menu don't tell you anything except a calorific value of the food. They really tell you no more than that. 

And actually, half the time they don't even tell you that, because when we look at things like food labelling, the calories on a packet that you'd pick up in a supermarket can be up to about 20% out either way. So if you pick something up in the supermarket, and on the packet it says 100 calories, it could be 80 calories, or it could be 120 calories. Because there's a variance in how the food is produced. Even if it's produced in a factory, it's still got a chance that the ingredients are slightly different in each one that is prepared. 

The same happens in a kitchen only to a greater scale, I think. So for example, mashed potato. You don't know how much milk they've put in the batch of mashed potato that you're going to eat. Milk, butter, cream, you don't know which of those has gone into it. A, quote unquote, portion is going to be different on your plate to somebody else's. If you and the person you're eating with had mashed potato, and they took that off your plate and weighed it, you can guarantee that you will not have the same portion of mashed potato as the person you're eating with. 

Do you have the same number of chips? Do you have the same number of peas or carrots? Is yours steak the exact same weight? Are there the same number of pasta spirals in your pasta dish as the person you're eating with? No, there's not going to be because that's the way it is. That's just the way it is. So how they can then put calories on a menu confidently is beyond me because there are no set measures in a kitchen. There are no set portion sizes. One chef, for example, will serve a different portion size to another chef in the same kitchen. 

There are so many variances there that that calorie number on the menu can't possibly tell you what is on your plate. So remember, those calories are not accurate. It doesn't tell you how nutritious the food is. It doesn't tell you whether you are going to be satisfied by that food or not. And it doesn't tell you whether you are making good or bad choices. The government would like you to think that that's what it's telling you, but it really is not. So go ahead. Go and eat your meals in these restaurants that you enjoy going to make your choices based on how you feel. 

As an intuitive eater we're looking for the food that will satisfy us. How hungry are we, so how much do we want to eat? What type of food do we fancy today? Do I fancy something savoury? or fancy something sweet? Do I fancy something that's a bit spicy? No, for the record, I'm never going to want the spicy option. But you might you might love a spicy curry. I however, not so much. But do you want the spicy option? Or do you want something that's mild today? 

You know, there are so many choices to make. There are so many choices that you can make based on how you feel how your body feels and what you think you need to eat in that moment. Go ahead and enjoy your meal with friends, family, whoever you've gone out with. Just go and have a nice time. It's easier said than done, I know, but I'm right here cheering you on as always. 

On that note, I am off to get some food because I am a little bit peckish now. And no, I don't know what I want yet. I'll go and see what I've got in the kitchen. Have a great week ahead. I will speak to you next week. 

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