103. Rapid Transformational Therapy with Cathy Hargreaves

Have you ever heard of Rapid Transformational Therapy? Or have you ever been curious about how our mind works? 🧠

Today, I'm excited to introduce you to Cathy Hargreaves, a certified Rapid Transformational Therapist and hypnotherapist. So what exactly does this all mean?

Cathy is all about helping people break free from any limiting beliefs and live their best lives, and in this guest episode, Cathy delves into the workings of our subconscious and conscious minds and how they can impact our self-esteem, emotional eating, and body image.

Among other things, we covered the following: 

✨ What can hold you back from making positive changes in your life

✨ Overcoming the fear of the unknown

✨ How to manage the discomfort of change and uncertainty

 ✨ The power of our subconscious mind in shaping our beliefs based on early experiences

✨ The link between emotions and our eating habits

✨ Why working with the subconscious is key to making lasting changes

✨ How to identify and address the root cause of emotional eating

✨ Discovering patterns or coping mechanisms at the subconscious level that can help break the cycle

✨ Finding your own path to happiness and fulfilment

…and many more! 

Join us for an enlightening conversation on how to use your mind's power to live your best life! This could be the sign you’ve been waiting for. 

Also, make sure to follow Cathy on the following channels. You will love her!

Connect with Cathy on Facebook 
Follow her on Instagram
Connect with Cathy on LinkedIn
Join her Facebook Group Community: Understand your mind and find freedom
Get Cathy’s FREE Freedom from Anxiety Masterclass and Meditation HERE!

Transcript

 A quick heads up before you start reading..... My transcriptions are automatically generated. I do not type them manually. For this reason there may be errors, incorrect words, bad spelling, bad grammar, and other things that just seem a little 'off'. You'll still be able to understand what is being said though, so please just ignore that and enjoy the episode.


[00:00:00] Welcome to the intuitive eating and body positivity podcast. I'm Terri and I'll be talking about all things intuitive eating, body positivity, and health at every size, and shaking off weight stigma, diet culture, and food rules so that we can all have a better relationship with food and our bodies.

Hello. Hello. How are you? Have you got your tree up yet? My tree is up. I told you I was going off to put my tree up, didn't I? And it is up and it looks lovely and Christmassy and oh, cozy. I love it so cozy. I'll be glad to see the back of it, obviously in January. 'cause then the house feels clean again, doesn't it?

But um, [00:01:00] yeah, really, really, really lovely having all my Christmas decs up. I went for my Christmas meal 'cause I work in my business and part time for an employer at the moment and we went on our Christmas works do. It was a strange affair. I mean, it was good fun.

Don't get me wrong. There was nothing strange about the actual event. But it was a strange affair because we went out in the daytime. We went for lunch instead of an evening meal. So we all met at 12. 30. Went and had our Christmas meal. All pulled crackers, had Christmas hats, that sort of thing. Had some lovely food.

Too much of it, some might say. Only because, you know what it's like, you have a starter, you have your main, you have the pudding, you share someone else's starter because they didn't want it, or you have some of somebody else's pudding because you wanted to try it, or, [00:02:00] or they didn't want to eat it all.

And there were a couple of people that didn't show up, so we shared their stuff amongst us as well. And there was lots of drinks flowing . It was really good fun, but it was very strange because we were walking around town at five, half past five in the evening, obviously it's dark at that time of day, and it felt like it was about ten o'clock at night, because we'd obviously been out five hours by then, and everybody's just finishing their shopping and going home from work and things like that, and there we are having having a lovely time.

So it was very strange. And it meant that I'm such an old woman that I was home and, and in bed by 7. 30. Yes, I was. I left some people there. They were clearly having a very lovely time, but I had the offer of a lift home, and so I got the lift home and then I [00:03:00] got home, I put my pajamas on, got myself a pint or two of water, because by that point I was actually dehydrated.

I wasn't drunk, but I'd had my fair share of food and a fair share of drink and so I thought I need a couple of pints of water. So I got that and then I sat on the sofa and I thought, Oh, I could just curl up in bed now cause I'm tired. So I put the TV on in the bedroom and I got into bed at half past seven, but you know, this daytime Christmas party is the way forward.

It is the new thing. I am a big advocate for this now. I had a good day out. I had enough food. I had enough drinks. I was home at a sensible hour. What an old woman. Tell you what else was strange was getting dressed up and wandering around town in my sparkliest of trousers at that time of day. We must've all looked very glamorous for doing [00:04:00] some shopping in town.

Anyway, on with the show. This week, I am talking to Cathy Hargreaves. She will introduce herself as my guests always do, but this is a really good one. She talks about rapid transformational therapy. And I will leave her to explain what that is because she's better at it than I am, but it's a really lovely conversation with Cathy.

She's such a nice lady. You're going to really enjoy this one. I think you'll enjoy all my guests, but you know, having now chatted to her, I'm going to say you're going to enjoy it. So have a lovely time listening to my conversation with Cathy. All the links are in the show notes so you can follow up with her and follow her social media and stuff after.

So yeah, enjoy.

This morning I'm talking to Cathy Hargreaves. This has been a long awaited interview. We have scheduled and rescheduled this, but we are here and we've made it. And so hi, Cathy. I'm really excited that you're [00:05:00] here and you're gonna talk to me today. 

Hi, Terri. Thank you. It is great to be here and like you say, it's taken a little while to get here, but I'm so excited to be on your podcast, so thank you for asking me.

Oh, it's exciting. You're welcome. Do you want to give us an introduction? Tell us about yourself and what you do.

Yeah, sure. So my name's Cathy Hargreaves and my business is Transformation With Cathy. I am a rapid transformational therapist, so I work very much with subconscious minds and I use Hypnotherapy in in my process. 

And it's so powerful because often if people are living their life and there are elements in their life that are not going how they want them to go, if they are doing things they don't want to do or they're not doing things they do want to do, very often you can find there's a subconscious belief under there that is running the show. And our subconscious mind is 95% of what we do. 

So if we have a conscious thought, I want [00:06:00] to go and run every day, and you have a subconscious of thought that says you will never run, you know which one's gonna win. So it's a constant battle. So I work with clients to help them uncover what are those subconscious beliefs so that you can understand them and ultimately reframe them so that they match what you do want.

And then it makes everything so much easier.

Oh, it excites me because, obviously I am all about the beliefs that we hold, and I know that everything we think about the world, everything we think about ourselves, it's all beliefs and they're, they're beliefs that are given to us. We are not born with beliefs.

We're not born thinking, a certain way about ourselves. We're not born with opinions on the world. They just get ingrained in us and we don't even realize it half the time. So a lot of the work that I do when I'm talking to my clients [00:07:00] is. What do you think about that and why do you think it, and where does that come from?

So this is an amazing topic to dig into. I don't know an awful lot about rapid transformational therapy though. So can you, I know you've said it's about the subconscious and things, but can you give us a bit of an understanding about that and how it works?

Absolutely. So it's rapid transformational therapy, RTT. It was created by a lady called Marissa Peer and she has been doing this for over 30 years, and it pulls together the best of NLP, so neural linguistic programming, CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, psychotherapy, and hypnotherapy. So it pulls together this magical combo. So what I do with RTT is you come in and you're in a very relaxed state and your subconscious mind remembers everything. It knows exactly why you're doing what you're doing, but on a conscious level, we don't know it. So [00:08:00] I regress clients back. Let's go back to the root cause of whatever the thing is that you're struggling with, let's go back.

And your subconscious mind knows. It takes you straight back there. And often clients say, oh, but I don't know. What if I can't think of it. But that's the thing. You're not thinking of it on a conscious level. You're thinking of it on a subconscious level and your mind knows. It absolutely knows. 

So we go back and we uncover, you know, what's there. And often the big thing is it's not, it's not what actually happens to us, it's the meaning we attach to it. So it could be something that's seems quite inconsequential, but if we form a belief, I'm not good enough. I can't have it, it's not available to me, it'll never work. We keep that belief. We make it true. 

And then whatever we believe, we will find evidence of it. It's called confirmation bias. So whatever you believe about yourself, you will find evidence. [00:09:00] So it's about changing those beliefs and we can do that. So with RTT, we uncover what's there, why it's there. Then we reframe it. And that's kind of magical because you reframe it on a subconscious level and then we code in new beliefs.

So the beliefs you do want, Yeah, I feel calm, I feel confident, I feel able, I can do this. We code that in your subconscious mind is like a sponge. It just soaks it up. And what you said, Terri, about the beliefs we have, you know, most of them we have picked up by the age of seven. 

Our beliefs about ourself, our beliefs about the world, our beliefs about what's available to us, and then we live our life from those beliefs. 

So RTT helps you reframe, and I like to liken it to your mobile phone upgrade. We upgrade our mobile phone so often we get the bugs out, the glitches, the things that aren't working, and we put in new, updated, you know, coding. That's what I do. [00:10:00] I put new updated coding in for you.

I love that. That's such a great analogy. When you were talking then I was thinking if I think about my issues around food, 'cause you know, that's what, that's what I speak on, if I think about my issues when you were describing beliefs and how we come to think things because of experience and things, loads of mine go back to when I'm really young. Instantly I've got memories of experiences that still live vividly in my memory where I didn't feel good enough or I didn't feel like I'd done the right thing, or I felt like I'd embarrassed myself or been told off for something. That sort of thing. Do you find that a lot of your clients go back to childhood?

Always, always, always the only, the only one client I've worked with, and it wasn't childhood and they came to me for fear of skiing, and when we regressed it was because they'd had skiing accent in their early twenties,

so you could see the [00:11:00] connection, but everything else is childhood. Especially with food.

Especially with food, because if. if they had an unhappy childhood. Sometimes food is their only comfort. Food is their only constant. So this is, this makes me happy. So it's almost like we, when we do eat now, sometimes it's like we are regressing. It gives us that happy feeling. That safe feeling , and often there's a sense as a child, this kind of learned helplessness. 

If something's happening and we've got no control over it, we don't have a voice, we are not big. We can't change things often as a child. And we carry this learned helplessness with us throughout life. You know, oh, I can't do that. You know, even if I try, I know it won't work, or I've tried before and it doesn't work.

And we just feed back into that childhood belief where I can't change things. So again, by uncovering that and releasing that, they can step into their power. It's like, I'm [00:12:00] an adult, I can't do this. And it's so powerful. It's so powerful.

Emotional eating is always heavily criticized, isn't it? Emotionally eating. So, had a bad day, get the ice cream out, that sort of thing. feeling upset, go get something to eat. but then also happy emotions as well. So we're having a celebration, we're having a birthday, we're having a christening, we're having a wedding. It's all kind of linked in with food. 

And when you take it back to also the psychological stuff of when you are little and the comfort that you might get from food as a child. I mean, that's a great example in itself, in that if you fall over when you're a child and you cut your knee, you get patched up and then it's, do you want some sweets or something like that?

Yeah.

Or you go to the doctors and then they go, oh, you've been really brave. Let's go get you some sweets. 

yes. Yeah. And you can't, you can't unlink the emotions from eating. [00:13:00] You just can't. And, and for people to say that emotional eating is a bad thing, as many do, that's how it gets tarred, when you speak about things like the childhood experiences and the comfort and things like that, you, there's no way you can detach the two.

I don't think I put that very well, did I?

No, I completely get what you mean. And the thing is, most eating, if people are eating in a way that they don't want to or they're not happy to, it's often because there's an underlying need, you know? 

And that is often an emotional need. And our subconscious is the emotional side of us. So often when we are, we are doing things, it's, it's automatic, it's autopilot. That's again, the subconscious and you are right. We, we eat to celebrate when we're happy, when we're sad, when we're, and that's great. You know, food is a really nice thing to do that I think the challenge [00:14:00] is when we are like, oh, well I'm celebrating so I'm going to eat absolutely everything I can because it's a celebration.

And like the work you do know that very much that intuitive eating. yeah, I can eat anything I like. I've eaten the bits I want and I'm choosing to stop now and I feel great.

There's a fine line I think for a lot of people between, eating as a part of something, eating as part of an experience, and then having what they feel like is a lack of control around food. And then when you get free reign for something, for example, like a buffet at a wedding, then that, that lack of control that they feel can be quite scary and.

Something I just wanna pick up on what you said then about a buffet because it's, it's proven that when you introduce a new taste, you can keep eating more. So sometimes they say to have sort of more, more bland food because you don't, your body sometimes if you eat [00:15:00] something really salty then it craves something sweet. So you sort of jump. And a buffet ,every time you introduce a new taste, you just can keep going. Whereas if you have one plate of something, you go, oh, I think I'm done with that. Now. 

Sensory specific satiety, I think it's called. I might have to check that. but yeah, it's, it's right. It's proven that if you have lots of the same flavors, lots of the same type of tastes, textures, that sort of thing, then eventually you, it's called habituating. 

You habituate to it, you get used to it, and then your body doesn't want it anymore. But if you've got this plate that you get at a buffet, for example, that is full of all these different flavors and different tastes and different textures, and you've got something savory, you've got something sweet, then you tend to keep eating because you don't habituate to the tastes and the textures and the flavors of things, is, it's fascinating, isn't it.

It is, it is so fascinating. Yeah. And, and the mind is so [00:16:00] powerful. That's why I love this work. I do. Because the mind is, is interesting because the mind takes the words you say. And the pictures you make in your head, and it creates a blueprint that becomes your reality. So sometimes we focus on what we don't want, and because we're focusing on what we don't want, we are making that our reality because our mind will work to make it reality. 

So it is often such a switch to what do I want? And they say this a lot with visualizations, you know, imagine yourself how you want to be. Imagine yourself, you know, waking up in the morning with lots of energy and looking forward to the day. but when you're in the middle of not feeling like that, it's quite hard to imagine it. 

But there's, the mind is so powerful and so like, when you talk about the intuitive eating, you know, when you can almost see yourself, you know, visualize yourself, okay, I can, I can eat. [00:17:00] The things that I enjoy, I can really savor them. And your mind goes, oh yeah, yeah, you can do that. 

And one of the biggest things I've learned from doing this and the mind, the mind likes to know it's choosing. If you say, I'm choosing this, your mind goes, ah, okay, that's great. But if you say to your mind, oh my God, I really want to eat that food and I can't, I shouldn't, you know, I can't. Your mind's gonna go but you really, really want it. 

Whereas if you say, I could eat it, I could eat, you know, I could eat it, your mind goes, oh, you're choosing. And it changes. It changes how you feel. It changes how you think. And just that, that switch. 

And with the intuitive eating, it's that I'm listening to my body, what does my body need right now? And sometimes it is one type of food and sometimes it's another. that's okay.

Oh, that's so interesting. I love that. I'm choosing, I'm choosing to have this, [00:18:00] I'm choosing not to have this equally sounds powerful, right? Where instead of, I, I'm going to have this, I'm not going to have that, which is very much a dieting type language or I can have this, I can't have that.

Yeah.

But then moving to, I'm choosing to have this, I'm choosing not to have that in whatever way you say it.

It's empowering and I think that's the thing, because often things are going on on a subconscious level, but when we become aware and we start choosing, how do I want to feel, I want to feel that I, you know, I'm, I'm choosing what is right for me right now, and only we know what that is. 

And I think the letting go of guilt is another big thing. You know, that I shouldn't have done that. I should have done that. And we build, beat ourselves up. And when we do this, we self-criticism [00:19:00] is the biggest way to destroy our self-esteem. 

When others criticize us, it hurts. But when we do it, our mine just lets it all in, it accepts it. It's like, well, if you're saying it, it must be true, but it's not true. And so I'm kind of on a mission to help people see, just because our mind thinks something does not make it true. That's one of my biggest things. 

Our thoughts are not real. They feel real, but they're not real. Because when you think about it, I think we have something like 80, to 90,000 thoughts a day and something like 90% of the same thoughts we had yesterday and the day before and the day before. So they're not real. They're just reoccurring. 

So if we think it and we think that must be true, that must be true about me because I did that. No, it's not true. It's the meaning you've attached to it.

If you were working with one of my clients, [00:20:00] for example, with the sort of behaviors and thoughts and things that they have, . How, how do you think that would look in a conversation? So, let me explain. Let me give you an example.

I've got ladies in my membership, that are struggling with body image and what they look like and feeling good about the way they look and the reoccurring thoughts there are very much, I look this way today. I look fat, today, I look ugly today. I, I mean, I'm putting words in their mouths.

These are not, you know, this is not exact messages obviously, but they have thisum, this perception of themselves and then when they catch a look in the mirror or a shop window or something, they reinforce that. So.

If you were working with those ladies, what would that look like ?

How would you suggest you start turning that around?

Okay, so how, I work with clients is I do hypnotherapy with them. So they come in and I get them very relaxed, put [00:21:00] them into hypnosis, and then we start talking to the subconscious mind. 

So we'll ask it a question, so whatever question it is the client wants to ask. So it could be, why do I, why do I see myself this way? Or it could be, why can't I see the beauty in me? Or, you know, whatever the question is. And we'll ask the subconscious mind and we'll go back, we'll regress back to where this came from, you know? 

So we're going back to a time place, seeing where this came from, and their brilliant subconscious mind will take them straight back to it. Sometimes it doesn't seem connected. Many times it does, but there's always a connection. Your mind knows exactly what we need to go back to and what, what will come up likely are times when either someone said something or there was a, a consequence or a repercussion of something. 

So it could be, I don't know, maybe they had a really pretty [00:22:00] dress on, you know, they're going to party. They felt amazing. They're like, oh my God. And someone looked at them, went, oh, what are you wearing? 

Oh. 

then makes you, and then it makes you not be able to trust yourself. To not be able to trust that actually what I look like is true. Because if they said it, they must be true. As a child, we believe other people over ourselves, which is heartbreaking because other people are mean. 

They can be really mean. It's, it's often things that other people have said, because, like you said, we are not born thinking bad about ourselves. We come into the planet like a lovable baby, just ready to give love, receive love. We don't know any different and we get told different things. 

So if a client came to me for that, we would regress back. Where's this come from? We'd look at the scenes, we'd interpret it. 

But also what I do, and this is really powerful, is we kind of talk to the part of the client that feels this way, because [00:23:00] our mind's job is always to keep us safe. That's, that's its job.

And you might think, well, why is that? You know, if it's trying to keep me safe, why is it making me feel so bad? Why is it making me think I look so ugly or so unattractive? Or, and we, we dialogue with that part. Why are you here? What are you trying to do? 

And it is profound. It's profound what comes up because there's, there's kind of three reasons why parts are there.

One is to protect us. That's the biggest one. So if I think bad about myself, then I'm kind of preempting if anyone else does, because I already feel bad. So it doesn't matter what you think, I'm protecting myself, but we know that's not protecting you. But, you know, on a subconscious level, it thinks it is. 

But the, the second one is to punish us. You know, if, if our mind thinks we've done something wrong, right, I'm gonna punish you. And it could be that, you know, depending what's happened in your life, [00:24:00] you might think, oh, I did something. I feel so guilty, right? I need to beat myself up about it. 

And the third one is, is called prioritize. So it's to get attention. So maybe you didn't get attention, maybe your siblings got all the attention. And the only way you can do it is to be, it's, it's often like the sick one, the rebel. The perfect one or the, there's another one, there's four. and so we do these to get noticed, to get attention. 

And this is the subconscious mind working for us. And when you uncover, oh, you're trying to get me attention, but I don't need attention, I'm okay. 

And then I do a lot of work with like building up self-esteem, self praise, changing the language in, in the subconscious mind. because the quickest, like I said, the quickest way to crush self-esteem is self criticism. But the biggest way and quickest way to grow self-esteem is self praise. [00:25:00] Because when other people praise us, we think, Hmm, why are they saying that? What do they want? But if we praise ourself, our mind goes, oh, you're saying it, it must be true, even though sometimes it doesn't feel true to start with. 

But you can start with, I am good enough. I am enough. You know, it doesn't have to be like, I am phenomenal If you don't feel that. But all of us are enough exactly as we are. We don't have to be different to be enough. So that can sometimes be the small, I'm enough, I'm okay. I'm lovable as I am. And it just, when we repeat it, it starts growing and we start feeling it on the inside.

I am a big advocate for that. I, I change, I actually changed the name of my podcast from Body Positivity to Body Confidence because body positivity can actually be quiteum, although it's meant with good intentions, it's, it's, it's a [00:26:00] difficult thing to achieve.

And having an appreciation is much easier. So to appreciate the things that your body does for you, for example, the fact just basic things like your arms, you can cuddle your child or your legs carry you through a very busy day at work or you know, whatever it is, you can start with just an appreciation for, and that's much easier to achieve than just this, like you say, this grand, I am wonderful, I am brilliant, I am awesome, because a lot of people, when they come to people like you and I, Cathy, they just, they are not in that space where they can believe it and it's, it needs working with. So just to appreciate is a great starting place.

Absolutely. And, and what you say there about, you know, the people that that come to us often, they feel, well, I've always been this way,

so I'm always gonna be this way. 

And I think that's, [00:27:00] that's my biggest message, you know? No, that's not true. You know, when we change how we feel and think on the inside, the outside has no choice but to change. But if we do what we've always done, we'll get what we've always got.

But sometimes it's really hard to, to shift that. So the work I do is really powerful, but the, you know, there's a lot you can do yourself. And the, the first thing is awareness. Awareness is the most powerful thing. 

And it could be, you know, just I don't know, when you're about to do something that you think, oh, I don't wanna do that. Why am I doing it? You know, sometimes we do it on autopilot, but just that pause that, oh, what's going on? You know, what's, and maybe just tune into our body and, oh, I'm feeling that butterfly feeling and I get, I get in my stomach when I'm about to say something I know I need to say, but I don't want to, [00:28:00] so let me eat something, because that will make that feeling go away. 

But it doesn't. Like we were, we were talking before, weren't we about feelings? And feelings are always talking to us. They're always trying to tell us something, but sometimes if we don't tune into them, we can often eat them. You know, we, we try and push them down with food. 

And I've done this and, you know, many of my clients have done this. She's like, oh, I feel stressed, or I feel anxious, or I feel. Right. I want some food because we think it's food we want, but it's, it's this emotion, this feeling. 

And if we can sit with a feeling, go, okay. Right. I feel anxious right now. It's okay. What's that telling me? That's telling me I'm really that apprehensive about this conversation I need to have right now? Or it's telling me I need to, um, you know, do something that's out of my comfort zone. Well, that's [00:29:00] okay. That's okay. I don't, food won't make that feeling go away. It might suppress it for a while, but let's deal with actually what's coming up so that you can step forward and go, ah, I did it.

Yeah, that digging deep is, quite scary for a lot of people. It's, it's something that people get to and go, whoa, this is a bit, Hmm. I don't know where I'm going with this. I don't like it. Do you find that you get resistance from clients when they get to a point like that?

Or have you got this clever, magical way where you can just work through it and encourage them forward?

Well, the thing is, because it's in hypnosis, there's a part of our, there's a part of our mind called the critical factor, and that's the part that says, don't say that, don't do that. What will they think? That that voice, and that gets switched off in hypnosis. So clients just talk freely. They just, what comes up, they just share.

And it's, it's nice because often I work a lot with clients who have anxiety, children, teens, adults, [00:30:00] and they're like, I, I can't express my, my thoughts, I can't, I can't say the right thing in hypnosis. It's absolutely fine. They just, they just share. But the thing is, they never share more than what they're comfortable with, if that makes sense.

They wouldn't suddenly blur out everything, but they're able to articulate, you know, what's going on, what's coming up. and it's such a safe space. It's like, you know, completely confidential, judgment free, and it's really safe. And this is the feedback I get from my clients. 

You know, I just feel really safe. I felt likeI could just relax into it because often, like you say, people are like, oh, this feels uncomfortable. I don't know what this is, but I think when clients sign up with me, they're like, yes, this is gonna be looking at stuff that I don't know what's there, or you know, a lot of it is suppressed emotion, you know, so tears come [00:31:00] up a lot, but that's so good.

Those tears need to come up. The emotions need to come up. Anger. We push that down, you know, I'm so mad, oh my God, I want some crunchy crisps, you know, or whatever it is. And often the anger eater is the one that wants the, the hard, chewy, crunchy, crunchy food. but because they come to me and they're like, I'm ready.

I wanna know what's under there, you know.

They get curious. And that's my favorite word. Curious. Let's see. Let's see what's under there. Why it's there, what it's trying to do for you so you can let it go. did I answer your question?

Yeah, yeah. No, I'm just fascinated. I'm just saying going. Yeah. I love, yes, yes. . yeah. 

What does, what does hypnosis look like between you and a client? Because. Hmm. Again, I'm sure you must come up against this all the time, but there are, there are these perceptions of what hypnosis are. Right.

It's a stage show and people doing funny things because they've been cajoled into doing it under hypnosis, but that's not the [00:32:00] reality of your clinic, right?

It's not, no, but it's such a good question because it's the unknowns and people, you know, naturally we're, we're a bit apprehensive of the unknown, so hypnosis is a really natural state. 

You know, we go into hypnosis throughout the day, you know, when we're in like a state of flow, we go into a state of hypnosis and I, it feels just like when you fall asleep at night, just before you fall asleep, so you're in bed and that lovely. just as you go to sleep. That really lovely feeling. That's how it feels. 

So clients will come in and I work with them face to face. I've got a therapy room or over zoom. They get themselves nice and comfortable and I get 'em to look up and say, look up in as if into their eyebrows. And this helps their mind go into an alpha state. So I was just thinking I could hypnotize

I was gonna say this is what's gonna go, what's gonna happen here?

and we do this [00:33:00] and then I just gently take people into hypnosis and it's so relaxing. So it's not sleep, it's the sleep of the nervous system. So your body just fully relaxes. 

And then we're just talking to the subconscious mind and people go into like all, you know, different levels of trance. Some people, they're like, you know, they're still a bit twitchy and they're like. And other people are like, so tranced out I've thought they're asleep. They're like, so, 

and then I ask the questions, okay, let's go back to the, the root cause of, um, whatever it is you're struggling with. And they're, they start telling me what's going on? What's, what's happening? What's going on? How are you feeling? and they're just talking to me. 

So we are having a conversation and sometimes people don't feel they've been hypnotized because we're having this conversation until I count them back up and you see them and they go like this, [00:34:00] and they're like, oh. But because you're having a conversation, you think, Hmm, but you're just so relaxed. 

It's like you are in a very, very, I've got a big comfy chair, foot stool, blanket. You get yourself nice and nice and comfortable and just, right, let's go explore. Let's find out what's, what's going on.

I wanna come and see you!

Come see me. It's amazing. I've had it on me for all sorts of different things, and it's just changed my life. 

So I see the amazing results in my clients. I see the results in me, so I am, I know this works. It absolutely works. So, yeah, I'd love to work with you, Terri.

Ah, watch this space. We'll report back later. . I've had hypnosis once forum, what did I go for? I can't even remember. That's how impactful it was. But I but I don't say that as a slight on hypnosis. I say it because I probably wasn't in the right space.

I [00:35:00] was probably acting out some kind of desperation and not having tried other things properly. Not really in the right head space for it.

When do people know when it's the right time to come to you? Because for me, it probably wasn't. I think I was acting out of desperation and I was just after a quick fix. I probably wasn't looking for that deep dive. I just wanted it fixed. So when is the right time?

How do you know? 

That's such a good question. I always do a discovery call with all my clients. and one of my questions is why now?

Yeah, why now?

And it's so interesting to hear the answers because you get a sense of how successful it's gonna be. I mean this, this always works to a degree, but if I've worked with clients when I first started, I just wanted to work with everyone.

I wanted to help everyone. You know, it's like, oh my God, this is amazing. Let me help you. [00:36:00] So I worked a lot with friends, I worked with a lot of families. I did families, my family, and I was like, alright, let me help. Let me help. And the people that were doing it to kind of humor me, you know, got small results, the people that are doing it because they were like, oh my God, I've got something I really want to work on. They got the big results. And I always ask all potential clients, how committed are you to making this change? Because. with RTT, it doesn't do the work for you. It gets everything out of the way of the door. But you have to still step through. You have to, you know, kind of become aware of your thoughts and think, no, I'm not, I'm not gonna think that.

So I don't reprogram you so that you're like a new robot, a whole new version. But we've uncovered why the things are there, release the emotional component of it, install the new beliefs that you want. 

But you still have to listen to your transformational recording every day. [00:37:00] You still have to think, right, okay, how do I want to respond? You know, I know that the words I say, the pictures I make create my reality, you know? And it, it is, it's a commitment to do it. 

So I say to my clients, how committed are you? 

And interestingly, I had a client who came to me, she wanted to stop smoking. I. And I said to her, out of one to ten, how committed are you to stop smoking? And she said, six. And I said, why six? Because you know, I like seeing a nine or a ten.

And well, I don't really want to stop I was like, well, why? Why are here? Well, because of my health, they won't operate on me if I continue smoking, and my daughter has told me I need to do this. 

So I was like, okay. I liked it. I liked to have a higher score, but I wanted to help. I'm like, you know, by nature someone that wants to help same as you. so you're like, okay, let's do it. It worked. , Which was brilliant and that's testament to [00:38:00] RTT. 

But the people that come to me who want to stop smoking or they want to change something in their life who are like, I have had enough a feeling like this. I do not want to live another day feeling this way. I do not want my life to be a repeat of what it's been so far. I want to be Enjoying life, not just going through the motions. 

So they're the kind of answers that excite me, those people that are like, I'm done. I've had enough of this. I'm ready to do the work. And then I'm like, yes, let's go.

Yeah. I understand that one. I get that with, with quite a lot of my clients is they're just like, I've had enough of living like this now. There has to be a better way. 

And you know, like you say, it's not just have a session, fixed. There's other work to do, but it's, it's so difficult and it's, it's really hard work when you have to look at yourself [00:39:00] that deeply and you have to try and make changes and you have to try and reject what other people might think, might say, might do around you.

God, that works hard, right?

And I think where, where RTT is so powerful is because you understand where the beliefs come from and you could say, is that still true? And when you can see, most of the time it's not. 

So all of my things, everything I've, I've gone back to is when I was five years old. My mum left when I was five and everything. Oh, I can't do that because all people might leave me. Yeah. And so my whole life and then when I had a session this year, and again it went back to this and I was like, I'm 50. 

I don't care if people leave. Like not in a mean way. Just if they don't want to be around me being in my life, that's okay. I'm okay. Rather than that 5-year-old child me that was like, oh my god, people [00:40:00] don't leave. 

And that's why I've been, I was a people pleaser for so, so long. Don't leave everyone's be happy, everyone be calm. Let me fix everything. And it's exhausting. 

And then you're like, when you see, oh, I'm not five, I'm okay, then you can let it go. 

And so when you say it's hard work, that element's not hard work 'cause you're in the session, like, 'cause I use all different tools for letting it go, and people do, they're like, you see them change, like the weight's being lifted off their shoulder. 

I worked with one client and the part, we were talking to the part, you know, why are you there? What are you trying to do? And half way through. He said, it's gone. 

I'm like, we're still talking to it. He's like, no, it's just gone. hasn't come back. And he's going from strength to strength because you see what it's trying to do and then you're like, it loses its power. 

But until you can see it, it's running the show.

[00:41:00] Like I also, I think of it like the Wizard of Oz, you know, like from behind the curtain running the show and and then when you pull the curtain back, you're like, oh. 

It's like this little child, me that's going, I need this. , and we do a lot of healing work as well. So healing that, that child in us that maybe didn't get the love and the support and the comfort that they needed.

, You go back so far and, and as the rational adult, human being logical 3D person you are going. Well, that's ridiculous. I mean, that was so many years ago. I was, I was little then. What did she know? but I guess, like you say, you, we carry these protective measures with us through, through into adulthood.

If we go back to what we were saying earlier, use the example of, hearing something when you are very little about the way you look or something, the, the dress you were using. The example of the dress. Well, this is a great [00:42:00] time of year to be talking about this. 'cause when we're recording it's Christmas time and lots of people are contemplating going to Christmas parties and things like that.

And the overwhelming feeling is, what will I wear? What will people think? What will they think of me? And if we can just get rid of the initial thing that made us bothered about what other people thought, that feels very freeing in that respect

Absolutely massive.

To be able to just go and, I mean people are, people are mean when you are little, but people are also me mean as an adult. I think we are just more, we are aware of it on a different level as an adult. 

So as a child, everything is very black and white. There are no kind of nuances to things when you are very little as an adult, you notice the, the [00:43:00] looks, you hear whisperings and you assume it's about you. That kind of thing. 

To be able to take some of that pressure away before you've even got there because your mind now knows that you are okay the way you are. You are fine. You look great, or you look great for yourself and oh God, to take that weight away, you would be incredible for so many people, wouldn't it?

Absolutely. And interesting what you said then about, you know, we see those comments, we see those glances, we, we hear those, you know, not we, we hear those comments, we see those glances often why it upsets us is 'cause it's triggered something in us from before. 

Because you'll find that people who have this inner confidence, inner belief in themselves, it won't trigger them.

They'll see, they'll hear a comment and they'll go, Hmm, and not give it a second thought. But if we have, you know, our own [00:44:00] insecurities, so maybe we've heard that before, that means that when we hear it again, that reinforces that message. so that confirmation bias again.

Oh look, there's more evidence that people are looking at me, that people are commenting. and that means whatever we, we've taken that to mean for us. but yeah, when people are able to just know I am enough, exactly as I am, I love this dress, I love this jacket, I love it. I feel great in it. 

And when we step out feeling like that, we get a very different reaction from other people. because we're in our power. We're in our energy of, I like me, you know, I love me. 

Sometimes people struggle with, I love me, but so start with I like me.

Mm-Hmm. 

so often when we are not happy with our weight, we don't want photos taken of us. And so we're like, no, no, don't take a picture. Don't take a picture of me. So I was on a, a call with someone and she [00:45:00] she'd started her own photography business and she had her daughter, and she lost her husband in the same year.

Oh.

and so there were no photos. I mean, they were together, they were both alive for a period, but because she wasn't happy with the weight, there were no pictures of the three of them. 

And it's like pictures often aren't for us. We might look at them and go, oh, I don't like me. But for those who love us, those pictures are so valuable and we can be really critical of ourselves. 

You know, we see all the flaws and our loved ones don't see that. Our loved ones see the beauty in us, like the heart of us, the kindness in us. And so if there, if there's a way we can start tuning into our, the loving us, the kindness in us, the generosity of our spirit, the, the difference we make to people's lives. Whether that's a smile, whether that's caring [00:46:00] as a parent, caring as a child, whatever that is, we are like perfect exactly as we are. 

And so I think when we can start tapping into that, tuning into that, then it's almost like, well, it doesn't matter if you don't like my dress. I don't particularly like yours, but that's okay. You know, it, it doesn't, and we think other people's opinion is so important and it is not. 

You know, maybe the people you love, their opinion is important to you, but the people you don't know don't like their opinion is of zero importance and we put so much importance on it. 

Yeah, it's about the validation, isn't it? It's the external validation, or which I'm guessing now that I've spoken to you, is all about needing that validation when we're little probably? 

Yeah, absolutely. And a lot of my work is helping clients see the only validation they need is their own. know, [00:47:00] when we believe in ourselves, when we know we are coming from a good place, when we are treating people with kindness, when we are living from a place we are proud of, then it, it becomes less important why others think, because as, as we know, you can never please anyone. Anyone, everyone 

Some people will like what you do, some people won't like what you do. So what do you do? You, you don't do it in case people don't like it. But what about those that do like it? They're losing out. 

So yeah, just that empowering yourself, stepping in, knowing you are perfect exactly as you are. And that doesn't mean there might not be elements you want to change. You know, I keep saying right, 50, start doing strength work.

yeah,

haven't started doing strength work. It's good for you, Cathy. I know 

still haven't started, but you know, just being able to accept yourself as you are and shining that and sharing that with people. 

Yeah, the photos [00:48:00] is a really, really good point. I, I've spoken about photos a few times, on the podcast, but it comes up quite often with clients because of the exact reasons that you say they don't want to be seen in a photo, 'cause they don't like the way they look. They don't like what they look like now compared to what they used to be.

That's quite often a, a big thing. and I, I'm one of those people that doesn't have photos now, not through my doing. I don't have my mum anymore and not through my doing. I don't have my mum anymore. That sounds wrong, doesn't it? It means not through my doing. I don't have any photos. My mum is not here anymore.

I have possibly two photos from when I was a child with her. And I have a couple of photos at my wedding with her, and that's it. And as a child, that wasn't my doing. But my mom was always dieting and I would imagine, and she had some health conditions anyway, [00:49:00] but there was a lot there to do with the way that she looked and why there aren't photos of her and there aren't photos of her with my children when they were little, that sort of thing.

And yeah, what I wouldn't give now to have photos like that, but it's so easy to go, oh, no, no, no, I look terrible. Just you take the photo, you have the photos, and I'll take the photos. 

But actually, you know, like, like you say, people wanna look back and they want to have the memories and they don't see anything but their friend, their family member, someone they love dearly, you know.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that, you know, to be able to help people to just love what they see. because the only, the only way to get the body you love is to love the body. You have.

We have to start with that. We have to start with that. And we don't, we start [00:50:00] with, I don't like it, I don't like this, but if only I could change this, then I would love your body. 

But like you said earlier, our body is remarkable. You know, it breathes for us without us even having to try, you know, it just does everything so, so well and recognizing that and appreciating that to say, yeah, okay, there, there are things I'd like to change. That's okay. I can do that. I choose to do that. And rather than I don't like it, it's always gonna be this way. I feel awful. I have no control. 

And I think control's one of the, the hardest things when they, when they talk to clients and they say, well, I feel it's out of control. You know, no matter what I do, nothing changes. And when we have this belief, we will perpetuate it. If I believe nothing changes, then nothing will change. 

So it's very much [00:51:00] reframing. Every, everything with me is reframing

Yeah, me too.

change. Yeah. Change in how you currently see it, how, how you're viewing it and what reframe could, how you take action, how you feel better help you see it in a different way. 

And the magic of that is, that's completely within our control. When you think about the the circle of control, we have so little control. Well, we have no control on anything outside of us. You know, we could go for a drive, get stuck in traffic. We could plan a wedding day and it could pour down. We could, you know, lose our voice right before a presentation. We have no control over so many things. 

The only thing we have control over is the thoughts we think. And when we change those thoughts, we change how we feel. we change how we feel, we change how we act. And it's a loop. 

But often we are caught up in a loop of a thought that [00:52:00] makes us feel bad. Oh my God, I've got no control. And look, I did that again and no. And then we feel despondent, we feel guilty, we feel shame. We feel like what's the point? And then the action that follows is pretty much action that we don't want to take. So you know, maybe we carry on just doing nothing or we, which feeds that thought, and then it goes round and round. 

But the magic of switching, the thought of the reframe is, I have a choice right now. And when we feel we have a choice that changes how we feel. We are like, yes, I could choose to do this, or I could choose to, I'm just gonna walk round the block. It will take me three minutes, but I'm going to do it because I know that will, that will change how I feel.

So you feel right, I've got a choice. You take that action, you go for that walk, and then that feeds into the thought. It's like, you did it, [00:53:00] you can do it. You have a choice. And then that's how impacts how you feel. It impacts what you do. And it spirals up then instead of spiraling and down. So the law of control starts and ends with our thinking. So when we get that, we're like, what do I want to be thinking?

We give far too much credit to what we see as our, are just our natural actions. this is the way I behave. This is the way I do things. This is the way I eat, and that is that. If you can find the thoughts behind it, see how much power your mind has over the way you behave and reframe some of those thoughts, then the behavior changes too.

Yeah. The power of our mind. Our mind is the most powerful thing we've got. but for many of us, it's working against us.

Hmm. 

You know, those subconscious programs are just doing their thing, and it's like, that's not what I want. Why can't I, why can't I change it? What's wrong with me? I must, I don't have [00:54:00] any willpower. there's something wrong with me. Everyone else can do it except me. 

But it's because they've got different subconscious programs. They've either done the work or maybe they had a childhood where they grew up and they were loved and nourished. And nurtured exactly as they were. They were good enough. So they're like, they didn't need food to fill that hole. They're like, well, I'm a, I'm okay. I'm, you know, I'm good enough. I'm okay. so they don't, they don't need it. 

But I just wanted to pick up on something you said just then, Terri, and we talked about this before, labels. So when we define ourselves as I, I dunno, lazy, I am, always late, you know, whatever it is. When we define ourselves, when we put a label on ourselves or other people put a label on us, we live up to it. 

We, well, that's who I, like you said, that's who I am. That's what you do. Well, no, that's not who you are. That's just what you've done on [00:55:00] autopilot for so long that it's become your default state. It's not who you are inherently. 

And I think, can I just talk a bit about neuroscience?

Please 

Yeah. Yeah. So the, I love this. I've been fascinated by the mind for years and years and years. When neurons fire together in your brains, so these are like, you know, every time something happens, neurons fire together. And if you think the same thing over and over, they wire together. So it becomes a hardwired program. 

So imagine if you think that, well, I always have to eat all the food on my plate because that's what I was always told. That's what I have to do. Can't have pudding if you don't eat your dinner. You know, that message that we were all brought up on so damaging. I'm like I say, anyone who's got parents now, I say, please let them stop eating when they're full up. You know, don't, don't force them anyway. 

If we tell ourselves over, I have to eat all the food on my plate, right? I've got food, I'm full up. [00:56:00] No, you eat the food. You eat the food, you eat the food. Those neurons become a hardwired program. It just becomes default. You don't even think about it after a while. Just like food, eat, play clear, done. 

And I imagine it, I liken it to, if you walked round a garden and you walked round and round in a circle, you would walk a path into that grass. If you walk round and round and round, round and round, you would walk a path into that grass.

And that's what we do in our brain. We think the same thing. We do the same thing. It's a really clear path. It happens without any, any problem. But the magic is that neurons that no longer fire together. No longer wired together. So you can break those synaptic connections and you can form new connections. 

So you can start to say, with the intuitive eating, actually, I've had enough food, now I'm going to put the rest in the dustbin . And if you do this [00:57:00] over and over, you start creating new, new connections, new pathways.

So it's like you've stopped walking that old grass pathway and you started a new one. So to start with, there's no path. You know, you are starting a new path and you start walking that one and you walk that one over and over and over and over again, and that becomes your default. That becomes the hardwired path. 

And the magic is the old one just grows over. The grass grows. It's no longer there. That's what's so powerful about our mind. It's not set in stone. 

We are not always the late one. We are not always the lazy one. That's just what we've done. That's the path we've been walking. But we can always choose that word again, we can choose a new path, and it's not easy. 

Sometimes a new path isn't easy. We've gotta cut through the brambles, we've gotta go through the long grass because it's a new path, but you stick with it and you keep going, and before long that becomes your default. 

And you're like, [00:58:00] oh, I don't even notice that. I'm just stopping eating. It's just, or I put less on my plate because I find I don't need as much. 

So it's, and that's the power. Neuroplasticity. Our mind is always changing. We can always change it because you never feel I'm set in stone. I've been this way for 50 years. I'm always gonna be like this. it's not true, but a lot of people choose that because they like what's familiar. Our mind is hardwired to move us to what's familiar and away from what's unfamiliar. So it'll always choose the easy option. 

But the magic is just like that path. We can make what is familiar, unfamiliar, and we can make what is unfamiliar familiar. It just takes a choice, an action, and keep, keep doing it.

You've got such a great way of explaining it. I love it because I think a lot of it, a lot of it working for people is being able to. [00:59:00] Visualize it in some way. And, and so these analogies that you give about the, the grass growing the path and things, it's just brilliant. I just wanna take everything in from you 'cause you're so interesting to listen to. I love it.

Thank you. And I think often when there's change we, we are like, Hmm, I don't know. It'll work and we don't want to look foolish. We don't want to say, oh, I'm trying this thing and it didn't work. And then, oh, but if you just see it as I'm walking a new path, I'm creating a new pathway, it's like I can create whatever path I like.

It doesn't have to look pretty for anyone else. It's my, it's my path. 

And also just something else that came to mind then. So Dr. Joe Dispenza, I listen to him a lot.

Yeah. Yeah, 

you familiar with him? He's amazing. And he talks about the river of change. I dunno if you've heard him talk about this. So when we decide we want to make a change, so it could be, I'm not walking that path, I'm gonna make my own path. [01:00:00] We start doing it. And like I said, you know, going through the brambles, hacking through it, and we're like, oh God, this is hard work. And we are going, we do it for a bit, and then we're like, it's it's too much. So he likens it to this river of change. So you start walking across the river and you've got the current and it's rushing against you and it's pushing you and you keep going.

And then you get to a point where like, mm, no, it's too much. And you turn around and you'd go back to the bank you came from and it's like, but if you just kept going, you would get to the other side. But we're like, it's uncomfortable, it's unknown. I don't know what's on the other side. I'll go back to what's familiar, but if what's familiar isn't making you feel good, then it is time to get a new familiar.

Yeah, that's a great point. Yeah. There is no reason to be stuck in the uncomfortable, stuck in the, and I mean, the uncomfortable of life as you know it.

there's no need to be stuck [01:01:00] in an unhappy situation. There's, I, I say this all the time to peopleum, including my kids. It's, it's one of my, my better known sayings with the kids is you have a choice.

You always have a choice. And what path you choose is up to you. You know,

if you don't like something, you can change it. If you don't like, if you don't like your job, you can change that. If you don't like the way you behave around food, you can change that. If you don't like the way you feel about your body, you can change that.

It might not be easy, and it might take some work, but you can always change the situation you're in.

I love that. And you know, what comes from that? we always have a choice. And not choosing is also a choice,

Oh, yes, yes, 

which is just we think, oh no, I don't have choice. I can't. But actually when we, when we choose to stay as we are, [01:02:00] and it is a choice and it's a, it's a natural choice. Most people choose it because it's familiar, it's comfortable, they know what that looks like.

And you know, as humans, change can be scary. You know, the unknown can be scary, but the unknown is where the magic happens.

Mm.

If we always do what we've always said, if we love it, that's great. You know, keep on doing it. But if we don't, then we've got this one precious life. You know, it's like I just had a bereavement, in my family. And whenever you have a bereavement, it always makes you, always makes me reflect on life. What do I want to do? What's important? And peace in a peace is really important to me. 

You know, to wake up in the morning, looking forward to the day ahead, to go to bed at night, feeling happy for the day I've had, and some days are hard. Some days are amazing. That's life. You know, life [01:03:00] is full of all the wonderful ups and downs. but yeah, if, if you are not happy, then. Change is available.

As soon as you decide I want something different, you'll just see opportunities, conversations will happen. Come across a podcast like this. They'll just be, ah, that's the sign.

I'm ready for change. Right? How do I do it? I'm gonna start thinking differently.

Yeah. Perfect. , Let's end it there. 

Thank you, Cathy. This is . 

I say this to all my guests, I'm sure, but I could just talk for hours. I could talk for hours on this subject. and with you, because you are, you are wonderful to talk to and you are wonderful to listen to. 

So tell people where they can find you so that they can, they can have more of this.

Okay, so I've got a website. 

It is www.Cathy-hargreaves.com. 

I'm also on Facebook, transformation with Cathy. I'm on Instagram [01:04:00] transformation with Cathy, and I'm on linkedIn, Cathy Hargreaves. 

So I'd love to connect, if you've got any questions, ask. I, my favorite thing is talking about the power of the mind and how we get to choose, how we, how we think, how we feel. 

I've done some free master classes. I've done them on anxiety, self sabotage, so they're available. If anybody wants one, then let me know. I'll send it through. It's also got, a meditation, a separate meditation so you, well actually a hypnosis 

so you can listen to that.

Experience it. Yeah, I highly recommend that. I'll send them through. So just connect to me, drop me a message, I'll send it. And it's got the masterclass and the hypnosis in it, but also the hypnosis separate so you can listen to that. But make sure that you're in a safe, comfortable place to listen, not driving, not operating machinery, and don't listen if you suffer with, psychosis or epilepsy. And I, I think that disclaimer's on there. 

So anybody that wants to connect, please [01:05:00] do. I love connecting with more people. Love answering any questions. And if you feel like you want to do the deep work, if you want to, you know, uncover what it is that's blocking you, that's, that's holding you back, I would love to work with you. 

So I do a free discovery call. Details are on my website, so just book a time that works. We'll have a 20, 30 minute call. talk through what's impacting you and how you want to feel. 'cause my passion is getting you to feel how you want to feel. 

I say to all my clients, if I had a magic wand. And I could give you anything in this session. What would you like me to give you? So have a think. What would you like? but this has been wonderful. Thank you so much, Terri. I've really enjoyed it. I love, I love chatting to you. It's been great.

Oh, thank you. I will put all the links in the show notes. yeah, everybody just, just follow and absorb it all 'cause it's it's awesome work. It's, yeah, it's amazing. And Cathy, you're just lovely. Everybody's gonna love you. That's it. Full stop.

Thank

Thank you. 

​[01:06:00]