It's hard when your body changes and you find you've outgrown your clothes, especially when you don't enjoy clothes shopping or you don't like the numbers on the clothes labels. Here I've given you some tips on how to make that easier for yourself. Also, find out why Will Smith and Billie Eilish have made my news this week, and which cheese made the cut in the Great Food Debate.
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Hi, I'm Terri, and this is the LifeBite podcast. I'm going to be talking all things intuitive eating, body positivity and health at every size, and shaking off weight stigma diet culture and food rules so that we can all have a better relationship with food and our bodies.
Hello, how's your week been? Has it been good? My week's been good. It's been all right. Yeah. Normal average week. Got my COVID vaccine booked, so that's good. Finally clicked around to my age group so I've got that booked. I've got the two booked in. So that's exciting. Yeah, that's it. That's about the highlight of the week I think really.
My food delight this week has been Mayflower curry sauce. Have you tried it? It is amazing. It's a powder. Basically powdered curry sauce, and I get it from home bargains. I'm not sure where else you can get it, but it is a powdered curry sauce. You mix it with some cold water. It takes literally a couple of minutes in a pan and you have got a curry sauce that is on par with what you get from the Chinese. Oh, it is so good. And I would just throw in some chicken and some peas and some onions and have it with some rice or some chips or both and it's like having a Chinese. It's like having a takeaway. Amazing. Yeah. So give that a go if you haven't tried it before. Oh it's so tasty. What else has happened this week?
Oh, did you see, did you see Will Smith has hit the headlines in the diet world this week or in the non diet world this week should I say. He's posted a couple of photos of himself saying that he is in the worst shape that he's ever been in and he's basically appreciating his body for what it's done, how it's carrying him through life, which is amazing. On the flip side, though, he just does end that by saying that he is now going to get back into shape. So he hasn't made it a weight loss thing, but he has made it a thing where he wants to improve his body. I don't know how I feel about that really. I think it is amazing that he is showing the world his appreciation for his body and the amazing things that it does as we all should do. We should all appreciate our bodies for the amazing things that they do. He feels like he needs to better himself. I don't know that that's weight related. I think he's just used to being fitter, stronger, leaner essentially yes, but yeah, it's, it's unclear what the motives behind it are, but I thought it was interesting that somebody like Will should, should post that.
Also had a proud mum moment last weekend when I was editing the podcast last week. I was working through it on the laptop and my son says, "what are you doing, mum?" I said "I'm editing my podcast". "Oh yeah. What's your podcast about?" So I told him it was about intuitive eating and body appreciation and, and he said, "Oh yeah, because dieting is really bad for you isn't it?" I was like, yes, mum for the win. Now I don't talk about this stuff around the dinner table or you know, I'm, I'm not preaching about this stuff from the time I get up to the time I go to bed. I obviously have conversation about it because this is what I'm interested in, but it's just interesting that he's picked up on it and so, yeah, I think the message is if you drip this into your life, if you talk about bodies more positively, if you talk about dieting more negatively, it does sink into people when you don't realize that it is. So it's a good conversation to be having.
Also this week, have you seen Billie Eilish has hit the news. She's hit the headlines. So she's quite famously known for wearing baggy clothes, for not wanting attention to be on her body, but on her singing ability. Quite rightly so, because that is her talent. That's what she wants to be known for. She doesn't want attention on her and the way she looks visually. Kudos to her. But now she's gone onto the cover of Vogue in a corset all glammed up. So imagine, that's stirred things up a little bit. My thoughts on this are she has a right to choose. She has a right to choose what she wants to be seen as ,who she wants to be portraying herself as, what she wants to wear, what she wants to look like, what she wants her image to be. And up untill now of course, she's been very young. She's been around well a few years, hasn't she? I don't know what age she was when she first hit the scene, but she's, she's only young. Isn't she? She's about what? 19, something like that. If that. And she's choosing to, to be more feminine, to be more, I don't know, adult maybe? Interesting turnaround, but she's getting a lot of stick from people. She's getting a lot of stick from people for, for on the one hand saying, "don't, don't make this about my body. I'm covering my body up. You will only see me in baggy clothes" to then going polar opposite end of that and dressing in very small clothes, in lingerie essentially. Make of that what you will, we all have our opinions. I know people have their opinions, but the end of the day, it's her right. It's her right to dress how she wants to and to be seen how she wants to so good for her.
Which brings me nicely onto the subject of this week's podcast - clothes. Billie Eilish is a prime example of this. Clothes are super powerful. So, if you take Billy in her baggy clothes going about her day, you don't think anything of it. She's just wandering around in jeans and a hoodie. You don't think anything of that? Suddenly she puts on a corset, she does a hair and her makeup, she strikes a pose, and you think " that girl has got it, she's taking control" and clothes are like that.
They're a reflection of mood. They portray what you've got going on I think on the inside. So they are a reflection of your mood. They are, they will show, you know, if you're having a bit of a low day, maybe you'll get up and you'll put your baggiest trousers and t-shirt on, and you'll just slop around in the house and you'll lounge out on the sofa.
Maybe you're not feeling low, maybe you're just having a lazy day. Maybe you glam up all week long for whatever reason and then weekends are your downtime. And you're like, "you know what? I am just doing me sticking some comfy clothes on".
And then the other end of that is a lot of people wear power suits, for example. So they work in offices in positions of authority, in positions of importance, and they have to wear a suit. They have to dress the part. They have to look like they mean business. Would you trust your lawyer if he rocked up in sweats and a hoodie? Possibly not. You wouldn't like to see him go to court, dressed like that would you?
On that same line of thinking, I wouldn't like to go and see a therapist and they be sat there in a power suit because that doesn't make me feel comfortable around them. That doesn't make me feel like I can just sit back, chill out and talk to them. So clothes, say a lot about what you're trying to portray to people. There's also an expression of personality.
When I was at college, I went to the local six form college and next door was the art college. This was the late nineties so there was, there was a very distinct style of clothing going on anyway, but the art college lot were well known for wearing very wide leg jeans and baggy t-shirts, and lots of, lots of beaded jewelry and maybe long hair, you know, and that was seen as an expression of their artistic side.
But if you're anything like me, I don't think I made a real statement with what I was wearing. I was quite the opposite, actually. I just wanted to blend in. I didn't want to stand out in the crowd. I just, I didn't wear brands. I didn't wear the latest trends. I was not a follower of fashion, but I just wore jeans, tops, you know, there wasn't anything special going on about what I was wearing.
That's the way I liked it. I didn't want to stand out. I didn't want to express anything, but I've always been very, very body conscious. So I didn't want my clothes to, to stand out and kind of highlight anything there. Also, what time of day you wear things, you know. What type of underwear do you do you wear? What type of day clothes do you wear? What type of evening wear? What about when you go out? What about what you wear to bed at night? We've all got our preferences. We've all got the our own things. We've we've got our own styles and, and we wear what we wear. I guess a lot of it comes from when we're young, but, but why do we wear what we choose to wear?
Is it pressure? Is it to hide? Is it trends that you're following? I don't often change my style. I don't know about you. I don't often change the way I look. I don't think I've ever really changed my style. Actually. I'm just comfortable. I'm comfortable in what I wear and I'm happy dressing as I dress, I guess.
And there's a lot of fear attached to changing something. That's going to draw attention to you. So if I was to suddenly change my clothes, my style and the usual things that I wear, you can guarantee there would be comments and I don't want comments. So this is why a lot of people are scared to change.
If you've got concerns about the way you look already, to change something that reflects the way you look, it's very daunting. I remember a day where, I never used to wear a skirt work, I wore a skirt to work and I was already feeling quite self-conscious about this. I've always been really happy with my legs, but it was a different way of dressing for me to go to work. Comments all day long, comments all day long! So that was the end of that. I stopped wearing a skirt to work. So I know very well what it's like to not want people to pick out what you're wearing and make a fuss of it.
I used to wear heels. Heels used to be my thing. So, if we were going out on a night out I would pick the shoes. Then I would dress around the shoes. So when I went out, the hope was that people would look at my shoes. Not that I ever had anything majorly outrageous in the shoe department, but I used to wear nice heels. I used to wear really nice shoes when I went out and then people would hopefully draw attention to that rather than what I was wearing. And so we, we plod along in the clothes that we're used to wearing and the clothes that we're comfortable in, but what I've learnt through the intuitive eating journey is that actually there is more to clothes and there is more to how clothes make you feel.
But what happens when those clothes just don't fit anymore? What happens when our bodies change? Because our bodies changed don't they over time. My body is certainly not the same size as it was when I was a teen or, you know, my early teens twenties. So what happens when your clothes don't fit anymore? Oh, God is not mortifying. That horrible feeling of a need to go up a clothes size.
And why is that such an issue? Why is that such a problem? Why do we have such a problem with going up a dress size? Because there's nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is when you wear clothes that don't fit well and they're uncomfortable and they're tight and they hurt by the end of the day. You know, when a waistband on your trousers is too tight, but you wear them because you don't want that next size up. So you just keep wearing them because maybe one day you'll fit into them. Or you were, well I told you didn't I last week I went and got some new bras, before that would have been awful going up those sizes. But for me, actually, it's all right. I'm genuinely, genuinely now not bothered because I now have clothes that fit me, that are comfortable, that do the job.
And that Idon't think about all day long. You know when you put that top on, that's just a little bit tighter than you want it to be, and you spend the day pulling at it. Pulling it down, pulling it out, you try and stretch it. Oh God, we've all done that thing haven't we. So you put your top on properly and then you pull the bottom out at the front and you wedge your arms up in there and you do some funny dances, stretches the top out in front and to the sides and, and all you're doing is you're temporarily stretching it and then it'll shrink back to how it's supposed to be because that's what clothes do. And then you spend the rest of the day pulling at it. Pulling it out, pulling it down, readjusting it. And you can't enjoy your day because you're too busy thinking about your clothes.
That's not right. That's not the way that your day should be. You should be enjoying your day. You should be going to work and doing your job. You should be spending your day with your children, having a nice time and making nice memories. You should be lounging around in the house because you're having a day to yourself, and you should be enjoying pampering yourself or just having a duvet day and watching TV. None of this should be consumed by what you're wearing. Your clothes should just be worn. They should just be worn.
I posted a social media post last week, I think, and it said your clothes are designed to fit you, not to the other way around. Your clothes should fit to you. You should not change to fit into your clothes.
Okay. So what happens when they don't fit then? All right. Cause that's the reality, isn't it? That sometimes we outgrow our clothes. So what do we do? What do we do then? If clothes shopping is a traumatic experience for you as it is for some people, or even if it's just not fun, there are ways to make it better.
Put yourself in a space where you're in a comfort zone. Put yourself in a position where you're not going to be upset or stressed by what's around you. So for example, clothes shops. I know there are certain shops where if I go into it I'm not going to wear anything in that shop. I'm not going to fit anything in that shop. No, correction, those clothes in that shop and not going to fit me. They're not going to fit me. They do not create clothes for my shape and my size.
That's fine. I'll go to a different shop. Move on, go to shops that are going to stock clothes for your size and your shape and your style. I do a lot of clothes shopping online. I do a lot of clothes shopping online because the other thing is I hate going into fitting rooms with arms full of clothes and the assistant says, "how many of you got please?" And you say, "Oh, 30?". I know it's not 30, but you know, it feels like 30, doesn't it? But you've gone in with so much, because you've got three sizes of everything, because you don't know what size is going to fit you. Because clothes shops sizing is crazy.
So you go in and you spend your time in the cubicle and you get all hot and bothered. Because you're, you know, one on one off, one on one off, one on one off, and you put one on and it doesn't fit or it looks terrible. So you'd take that off. So you bin the other three in that style, because, well, if that one doesn't look right, then none of them are going to look right, and then you end up walking out. You may have one thing that you want to buy if you're lucky.
I like to do that at home. I place an order, I have things come to the house and then I try them on, in peace and quiet at a time when I feel comfortable at a time, when I feel good. A time where I know I've got peace and quiet to do it in comfort. I try things on and if they don't fit they go back in the bag and that's fine. I don't have to explain it to anybody. I just put it back in the bag and back to the shop it goes. That's the most comfortable way of shopping for me. I know there's something nice about going to the shops in town, and clothes shopping, and looking through the racks and things and you can still do that. I'm not saying to do it, but for me, that's not a pleasant experience.
I like to have everything sent home and try it on in my own time, my own space. And actually in my own surroundings. I'm going to be getting dressed into these clothes in my bedroom, and I'm going to be walking around my house in these clothes. I'm not going to be putting these clothes on every morning in a dressing room that's lit by whatever lighting the shop has chosen in front of big mirrors that quite frankly are often cheap mirrors so they distort the way you look. Anyway, I want to try clothes on in the space where I'm actually going to be wearing those clothes.
And then when it comes to clothes sizes and how they make us feel, I truly understand the issue with going up clothes sizes. I understand how much that is upsetting. What it's taken me a long time to realize is that these labels on clothes, they're irrelevant. They are just numbers. And those numbers aren't even the same throughout the shops that you go to.
So if you go into New Look an average, now I'm just picking a number so don't worry about this number, 14 in New Look will be a different size to a 14 in Marks and Spencer's for example. And that 14 in Marks and Spencers will be a different 14 to Debenhams, which will also be different 14 to Top Shop or H and M. They all have completely different dress sizes.
Oh, let me give you an example. When my daughter was 12 maybe we went to get her some new jeans. We went to H and M and the sizing was so out of whack, even for the young teen section, that she ended up putting an adult size 14 on and it did not fit her. Now at that age, she was a typically average age 12 clothes so there is no reason why those clothes shouldn't fit her. But in H and M at that time the size jeans that did fit were at adult size 14, which would never have fitted an actual adult size 14. So do you see what I mean, the sizes are irrelevant. Don't pay any attention to the numbers. The example still stands.
So the industry is just soooo..... there's no standardization. There's no standardization across sizes. So that is one reason why you should not worry about what number is on that label in your clothes. My advice is go into a shop if that's what you're doing, or when you order online, however you're shopping pick up several sizes and start with sizes bigger than what you think you are. So go two or three sizes above what size you think you are and then you try it on from largest to smallest, and you find the one that fits you. Because that's the other thing we do. We go into the changing rooms. We've got three different sizes and you start with the smallest, we start with the smallest because we'll try and squeeze into that one. And then we'll might try the next one if that doesn't fit. No, no, no, no. Start with the bigger one and come down until you find the size that fits you. Honestly, that is a much, much happier way of trying clothes on.
And you find your sizes and you don't worry about that size because nobody cares. Nobody knows. Nobody's judging you. You go to the till, they don't know what size you've picked up because they're not looking. And when you get home and you put those clothes on, is anybody saying, "Oh, what size is that?" Nope. What they're likely to say is, "Oh, new top. That's nice".
And then when you wash it and you fold it and you put it away. If you're doing it bonus. If somebody else is doing it, are they looking at the size? No, they just don't want to be stood there doing that laundry so they're just washing it, folding it, putting it away. Nobody cares. Genuinely nobody cares what clothes size you're wearing.
And if it is going to bother you having those sizes on those labels, cut the labels out. Just take the labels out. So you can't do it in the shop, obviously, so go into the shop or have them delivered and find the size that fits you, give the other ones back, and then when you get home you can just chop those labels out. You cut them out because then later down the line you're not even yourself gonna remember what sizes they are. You're just going to know that you've got those clothes and they fit you. And that's the way it should be.
So my request to you is that you take a look at the clothes in your wardrobe and you decide which ones you're comfortable wearing and which ones you're not comfortable wearing, and you remove the ones that you're not comfortable wearing from your life.
You know you get the charity bags through the door every now and again, I like to put mine in there. So every time I get a charity bag, I have a little look in my wardrobe and I see what I'm not comfortable wearing anymore and I put them in there, and then it makes me feel good because I've given some things to charities, helped them raise some money, and it makes me feel good because I'm not wearing clothes that I don't feel comfortable in anymore. And again, that's quite a privileged approach to this, because that assumes that I've got the money to replace those clothes with. I don't have an abundance of money to go clothes shopping all the time. In fact, I don't very often go clothes shopping, but my view is for myself, that those clothes are just sat in my wardrobe. So regardless of whether I replaced them or not, those clothes are still not being worn. Or whether I wear them, or if I wear them and they're uncomfortable, I'm not enjoying wearing them. So I shouldn't wear them. So we're getting rid of those clothes. We're going to get rid of the clothes that we're not comfortable in, that don't fit us anymore, that hurt us, and choose a couple of pieces that you do like.
If you've got the money to go and buy a few new pieces, even if it's just a couple, get yourself a couple of key pieces that you really like. They don't have to be anything fancy. You can build yourself a little capsule wardrobe. You can get some mix and match things that will work for all different situations. You know, trousers that you can dress up, dress down. Tops that you can dress up, dress down. It really doesn't have to be a big outlay to replace some key parts of your wardrobe.
Take advantage of sales. You know, when the sales on, see what you can dig out. There are some shops where the clothes are relatively cheap. Every now and again, if you can do it, treat yourself. See it as an opportunity to try new things if you want to, but you will feel so much better for wearing clothes that are comfortable and that fit you.
And essentially they're going to look better on you. They're going to look better on your body. Clothes that don't fit do not look good on your body. This isn't about how you look to other people, but clothes are designed to look nice on you.
Isn't it funny what we assume of others based on the clothes that they're wearing. Isn't it funny? You see a person walking down the street. This goes back to the whole perceived personality. I guess if you see somebody walking down the street in a sharp suit, let's take a woman. For example, sharp suit, pair of heels, power bag, hair, and makeup done, looking like she means business. You don't assume that she's got no job. You don't assume that she's not confident. You see somebody maybe walking down the street in in the lounge where you might assume that they're trying to cover themselves up. You might assume that they are not working. We make a lot of assumptions by people's clothes and we really shouldn't do that because it's not relevant.
And it's none of our business at the end of the day. Can you imagine if fat was not a problem for you or for anybody else? What would you do if your body size wasn't an issue? What clothes would you wear? Would you dress the same? Would you dress differently? What freedom would it give you? How would you move in your clothes? How would you walk? How would you hold yourself?
How do we move into that? You start by wearing the right sized clothes. You start by being comfortable in the clothes that you're wearing because you will not be moving into body confidence if you're wearing clothes that make you self-conscious. Whew. I feel like that was a lot today.
It's a big topic though. Isn't it clothing? I mean, I could go on for hours about it, but it's a big deal. Clothes are a big deal. So I hope it's been thought provoking. I hope it's given you some food for thought, and you're going to have a little look at your wardrobe and make sure that the things that you're wearing are comfortable and do fit you.
Please don't try and fit your clothes. Please don't try and fit your clothes when you're going shopping. The clothes are meant to fit you, not the other way around.
Okay. So this week I asked the question on social media. I'm going to start answering listener question each week as well. I put a question box out and this week I am answering a question from Anna. She says, "I've seen you say that you've been to the doctors. I'm too nervous to go to the docs is because of how they will mention my weight. Do you have any tips?"
Yeah, it's a great question. Isn't it? The doctors is a big deal for a lot of people that are concerned about their weight. I will do another episode on this. I might make it next week's. I'm going to do a downloadable sheet for you, but I might make this the topic of a whole podcast because going to the doctors can be quite daunting.
So, yes, my quick tips for today are you don't need to be weighed and you don't need to discuss your weight if it is a topic at the doctors in your consultation that is completely irrelevant of weight. So if you've gone to the doctors because you've got an earache it's not appropriate to discuss your weight. If you've gone because you have ingrowing toenail, you do not need to discuss your weight, and you have a right to say to the doctor or the nurse or whoever you're seeing that you'd just like to focus on the problem that you came in to see them about.
There are times where it's appropriate for your weight to be taken at the doctors, things like if they're prescribing you medication they need to know your weight in order to prescribe the correct dosage. So there will be times where it's appropriate, but you do have a right to refuse to be weighed. You can just say to the doctor, "could you explain why you're asking about my weight?" "Could you explain to me why you're asking me to be weighed today", "does taking my weight today impact on the treatment that I'm going to get", "do you need to take my weight in order to treat my condition?" Or you could say, "how would you treat this? If I was a slimmer person, I'd like to start with that treatment, please".
If you do have to be weighed for medication, for example, you can ask the practitioner not to tell you what the weight is. You are within your rights to say to them, "if it's absolutely essential for my treatment, that I am weight and you know my weight, then please don't tell me what that number is.". You can ask them not to tell you what the numbers on the scales are. As I said, I'll do a podcast on that, but I hope that gives you some tips just to get you going Anna. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck.
All right, let's talk about this week's great food debate. So the question this week was, if you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what cheese would you choose?
Honestly, this question is harder to answer than you originally think. Now I'm assuming that you're a cheese lover because what is life without cheese, but I appreciate that some of you won't want to eat cheese. But if you are a cheese lover, how do you even answer this question? How do you even answer this question?
I don't know. I still can't decide. I've had a week to think about this. I've put it out on social media. I've put it into some groups that I'm in. There is no clear cut answer. So my thinking is cheddar, right? Cheddar. Good all rounder. It's a good all-rounder. It's very versatile. Sandwiches, pizza top of lasagna, just straight out the fridge. Cheese, cheddar cheese. Flexible, versatile, comes in a range of strengths, when but then, then my thought was, that means I never get halloumi again as long as I live. I love halloumi. I love halloumi. Halloumi is great on a barbecue. In a burger. In strips fried in breadcrumbs or something. They're a good starter. They're a good side. Good all round cheese. I'd never get that again, but I wouldn't choose that as my cheese to have forever, because that would mean that I couldn't really have toasted sandwiches, or it wouldn't work on top of the lasagna, would it? It's not that great just straight out of the fridge. Defo does not work on pizza.
So then I was like, okay, all right, I'll give up the halloumi because maybe I can have baked camembert. Camembert cheese. Maybe that would be it. Baked Camembert. Oh. You know, with like the gooey middle with an array of things to dip in it. Wonderful cheese, but that does not work anywhere else other than on some crackers. So that's out the window.
Then I thought I'd go a little bit rogue and decided that maybe manchego was the cheese for me. But no, because that can't be used everywhere as well. It's great in a what's it called? Frittata. Great in a frittata. Doesn't work so many other places though. So that one's a no go as well.
Honest to God. Is your mind ticking? Are you thinking about this now? Some people were having almost complete meltdowns trying to decide this on conversations that I was having with people. Some people were quite distraught by the prospect of having to have one cheese.
Somebody chose goat's cheese. I thought that was a interesting, but odd choice. It's a very strong, overwhelming taste. That doesn't make the top of a lasagna go crispy does it, goats cheese? My biggest test is, does it work on a pizza? I don't think it goes she's does work on a pizza. Maybe it does. Maybe I need to try it. Hmm. What's your thoughts? Drop me a message.
There was no clear winner. I think the default, the easy default was cheddar, but Oh , the amount of cheeses that people were suggesting was unreal, along with the cheese jokes, obviously. Let's see if I can find one. Here's one. Why do the Welsh take very small bites? Because they eat Caerphilly. Awful isn't it. So many cheese jokes. Well, there we go.
Here's one, here's an answer. "Tough one. Only one? I'll say Oka". What's Oka? O.K.A. I haven't heard that before. "It's nutty and fruity, great on a Cracker or floated on top of toast in a bowl of French onion soup. I buy a bag of single serve pieces every week. And can't imagine not enjoying one every day."
Oh, now that that right there is a man with an appreciation for cheese. Hmm, it's too difficult. It's too difficult to choose.
Next week the question for the great food debate is what is the greatest sandwich filler of all time? Now feel free to reply to this. Send me an email, message me on socials, whatever. Get involved.
I'll put a question box up in the week and then you can answer on there, if you want. But yeah. Start thinking now., what is the greatest sandwich filling of all time? It's already caused quite a stir in our house.
Right? I think I'm done for this week. I have a really great week ahead. I hope it's full of wonderful things. I hope you wear wonderful, comfortable clothes. I hope you feel good about yourself.
Please come over. Join me on the socials. I'm on Instagram @lifebitenutrition. I'm on Facebook. The Facebook group is still relatively small. Come on over and join that. So that's LifeBite intuitive eating and body positivity group. And I've set up a new Twitter account. So come and join me on there. Give me a follow that's @LifeBiteIE for intuitive eating. So at @LifeBiteIE. Yeah, come join me on Twitter. Follow me. I've got nobody at the moment. That'd be lovely, right?
That's it. I will speak to you next week.