132. I wish I could still wear that

I looked at some photos recently and caught myself saying "I wish I could still wear that,", but do I really?? 

I’m taking a somewhat nostalgic journey through the fashion trends of yesteryears. From shell suits and banana clips to heather shimmer lipstick and mini skirts, I’m reminiscing about my past fashion choices and reflecting on what still appeals to me today (hint, not very much of it!!).

This is why I’m talking about the evolution of her personal style and the importance of wearing clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable, no matter your age or current trends. It’s all about personal preference in fashion and finding your own style, making shopping enjoyable, and dressing for yourself rather than for others' opinions. 

Get ready for a delightful mix of fashion nostalgia, and practical advice!

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Transcript

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Hello. I've just realised I've still got my sunglasses on my head. I was sat outside before I came in to talk to you. Sat outside in the sun because the sun is shining, it's gloriously hot outside. And old lady Terri is grateful for that because it means that the washing's out on the line. I love that. There's something satisfying about that, right? Putting your washing out on the line. I love doing the washing anyway. And I love tumble dried washing. But there is also something special about having your washing on the line, I think, isn't there? Anyway, never mind old lady Terri, it's just so nice. It's so nice that the sun's here and it's summer. And this means good things. It means good food, good drink and good vibes. That's what I'm going with. I love summer. I love summer food. Right? This is not what this episode is about. But I love summer food. I love just the colors and the flavors and the fact that it's all like juicy, summery food. You know, all the fresh fruit is a lot nicer in the summer, that sort of thing. So yes, excited for the hot weather to be here. Hurrah. What have I got to do first before I start talking about what I came here to talk about? Oh, I've got to thank this week's most amazing supporter, Wendy. Wendy, thank you. Wendy has bought me a cake. So if you remember, I use buy me a coffee to allow you to support the podcast. And I call it buy me a cake because I don't like coffee. I like cake. And so I use buy me, buy me a cake. I call it. And Wendy bought me a cake this week. Wendy, that's amazing. Thank you so much. I really, really appreciate it. I love, love it when you guys drop me a little something because it means that you're out there and you appreciate what I do. I'm sure you appreciate what I do anyway, but it's just that little extra something special, you know, it just means a lot to me. So thank you. Thank you, Wendy. Thank you very much. Also, fan mail feels a bit cheesy that, doesn't it? Fan mail, mail bag time. Do you remember in kind of the eighties, a big thing on kids tv was about having the mail bag and opening fan mail and stuff? It's brilliant. Just brilliant. Where has that gone in our lives, eh? So this week I had a message. I don't know who it's from, there was no name left or anything, and that's absolutely fine. But this week's message says, hi, I came across your podcast about a week ago and I wanted to know if you have some time to answer some questions. I'm still so lost now the I have to answer it on the podcast because the fan mail option, if you go to the link in the show notes, there's a little link that says text me or something like that, or send me some fan mail or whatever, I decided to call it and you can, you can just text me, it's brilliant. But I don't get to reply on there, so hence I'm answering it here. So a reminder, it says, hi, I came across your podcast about a week ago and I wanted to know if you have some time to answer some questions. I'm still so lost. I get it. It's, oh God, I don't know obviously what stage you're at. I don't know anything about you. I don't even know your name. But if you're in the early stages of all this work, I get it, it's a lot, and there are a lot of questions. And actually sometimes the further into it you get, the more questions you have anyway. So maybe you're not new to intuitive eating, maybe you're not new to body positivity stuff. Maybe you've been doing it for a while and now you have questions, and that's quite normal too, because as time goes on and you start to learn about it more and you start to understand it more, then you start to question more because you end up going, hang on a minute, what about this? And what if this means this? And how do I adapt it for myself? Do I see it as this? Do I see it as that? So there's lots of different reasons why at all stages you'll have questions about intuitive eating and about body confidence work. That's absolutely cool, and it's perfectly normal. So I can of course, answer some questions. I do, of course have time for you, and there's a few different ways you can do that. Can book a discovery call with me. So in the show notes, there'll be a link to book a discovery call. It's a free 30 minutes session and you can come on, talk to me. We'll have a chat over Zoom and you can talk to me, tell me what's going on for you, and then I can give you some quick tips to help you get going, and then I can tell you about things like the membership and the personal coaching options and stuff like that. It's not a sales call, I promise, but if you want to do that book, Valian, just book a half hour slot with me. That's cool. If you already know about the membership and stuff as well, you can, you can join that. You can join the membership at whatever level suits you. You can come into the group, come to the live sessions, get your questions answered in group Q and A sessions. If you get the option with the personal coaching, then I can answer your questions in personal coaching sessions. So there's lots of different ways that I can help you. But yeah, hit the link, book a discovery, call in and I'd be happy to help you, of course. Thank you. I hope that answers your question. I love these from mail things, by the way. It's good. It's a good feature. I also had another one from Sarah that just says hi. Just wanted to say hi. Love your podcast. Thank you. Thank you, Sarah. I love that. It's what it's there for, right? I said, just send me a message and that's what you've done. I love it. I love it. I love it. Because I get this email that says, you've got fan mail. This is brilliant. Thank you. I was looking at some photos, photos of me in my late teens. Well, mid teens as well actually. Mid teens, late teens, very early twenties. And in my head came this thought, I wish I could wear that again. I wish I could wear that again. Look at that dress. That was great. I wish I could wear that again. Then I realized, do I actually wish that I could wear that again? And then my mind went down this rabbit hole of all the things that I used to wear that maybe should not be worn again. So things like Madonna esque jewellery, you know, the brightly coloured neon bangles, plastic beads, fishnet gloves, that sort of thing. I never used to do that. I never used to wear the fishnet gloves. But the whole eighties Madonna look, that's not for me. I should not wear that again. I had a skirt as well when I was little and this skirt was like a fifties style skirt. It was all the rage. I begged my mum for this skirt for such a long time and because somebody else had it, obviously. And I begged her for this skirt for such a long time. And this skirt, when you put it on and you spun around, it came up really high and I loved it so much. Yeah, probably not for me. Now in my forties, when I used to go out in my teens, I used to wear very short, very stretchy miniskirts with crop tops. Probably not going to work for me in my mid forties, but I loved it then, that was, that was all the fashion. That's what people wore when they went out. Very small, very tight mini skirts, crop tops. Yep. Bodycon dresses. Now, I know those have done the rounds over time, but I never really wore the full bodycon. But I did have some dresses that were pretty tight, really. They were very fitted. Uh, heels. I don't tend to wear heels so much anymore. I just find them a bit of a pain now, actual physical pain. But I do just find them a bit, oh, God, just a bit of a hassle to wear because I don't wear them very often anymore. And I used to live in them, used to love my heels. Used to live in heels. I used to wear them everywhere. I used to drive in them, used to work in them, used to socialize in them. Heels were my thing. I used to have hundreds of pairs of them. Not anymore. When I wear heels now, my feet hurt more, my joints hurt more. I can't walk properly anymore. My body's changed, and I'm sure that's got an awful lot to do with it. But heels are just not for me anymore. Not really. I've got the odd pair that I'll wear if I've got a social event to go to. But I'll always have a spare pair of flats somewhere for me to change into as soon as it's appropriate. So I don't really wear heels anymore. Perms, right. I used to have a perm. Very long, permed hair. And no, that is not for me anymore. And while we're talking about hair, do you remember the banana clip? The banana clip comb thing? It was like, it was a comb that was split in. You kind of not explaining this very well, am I? It was a banana shaped comb that was jointed at one end. So you used to open the comb up. It was like this double comb thing. You used to open it up, it went up the back of your head, and your hair clamped into this clip in a, like, banana shape. Just google banana clip if you don't know what I'm talking about. Banana hair clip. And you'll see what I mean. Those things, great. At the time, in the early nineties or whatever it was, I was never very good at wearing them. They didn't really suit my hair. I don't have. Yeah, no, I just didn't have particularly good hair for it. But regardless, I should probably not go back to the banana clip. Um, I don't know. Do people still use them? I don't think so. I think it was just a phase of that time. It's not for me. It's not for me anymore. What else? Heather shimmer lipstick. Yes. Yes. I still like a bit of heather shimmer. I don't have it anymore, but the color I like, heather shimmer lipstick, that was all the rage at one point. Everybody used to wear it. Brilliant. Maybe I should wear it again. I don't know. I don't even know if you can get it anymore. Bum bags. Brightly coloured bum bags. I don't even know if they're called bum bags anymore. But I used to love a bum bag. And actually, I would wear those again. I would use them again, but I'd probably go with a different style. Probably wouldn't go with a neon anymore. Probably wouldn't go with a bright orange and a bright yellow anymore. Maybe. Maybe a nicer black leather type of fur. Maybe. Maybe something a bit nicer. I definitely think I'll get one for holiday. I think I'll get one for my holiday because that's easier if you're just carting around bits like a phone and some money and stuff like that, that's a much easier thing to cart around than a great big holiday bag. Holiday bags are good for the beach. They're good for your towels, your sun cream, all of this sort of stuff. But if you're just having a much around and you just want to take the basics. Bum bags. I'm all about a bum bag. I think I'm gonna get one for my holiday. Yep. So I'm not writing those off. What I am, however, writing off, going with the neon theme, is shell suits. They were a thing, weren't they? They were a real thing. Shell suits. God, if you don't know what those are, have another Google because, wow, you missed quite a treat there. If you missed out on the whole shell suit thing, how those things never ended up in more tragic circumstances, I will never know. They are very much of the material that would go up in flames quite quickly if they were caught by a cigarette or something. And smoking was a more socially acceptable thing back in the eighties and nineties. So why did no more people go up in flames? Oh, that's a scary thought. Let's not go down that route. But, yeah, these things were very, very bright. Matching jacket and trousers, very baggy. So they had like, an inner layer and then a looser outer layer. Horrible fake material. I don't even know what they were made of, but good lord, they were everywhere. I had several of them. Several of them. They were the in thing. And I wore them. Would I want to wear them again? No, I would not. Thank you very much. And the same goes for cycling shorts. I used to love a cycling short. They were good, right? And I didn't cycle. So they were the fashion, right? They were the fashion then. And I used to love them. A pair of cycling shorts and a t shirt. Maybe you still wear cycling shorts and a t shirt. More power to you. They're not for me anymore. They're not going to suit me anymore, so I'm not wearing them. I was asking my husband about this list, and I was like, what am I missing? Is there anything blatantly obvious on this list that I should recall from the clothes I used to wear that I should not wear now? And do you know what his response was? Your wedding dress. Well, maybe I will wear my wedding dress again. Maybe I will. Maybe I will get it out the attic and flounce around the house in it. Maybe. Why not? Who knows? And he was like, oh, yeah, head off to Tesco in it. Go and do your weekly shop in it. Maybe I will. Who says I can't? He was joking, obviously. No, he wasn't joking. But I am joking about having that on the list. But the. Yeah, that's quite a list of fashion, right? Quite a list of things there that off the top of my head, I came up with of things that on the whole, I should probably not wear again. Things come back into fashion, right? Things come back around. So on that list, things like jeans, different jeans styles, skinny jeans, apparently are no longer in fashion. I'm not down with kids. I don't care about that. I like them. I wear them. Mum jeans and dad jeans and boyfriend style jeans, they have come back around. My daughter wears them. That's cool. I don't want to wear them. They don't suit me. I used to wear a bootcut jean when I was in my teens and my twenties, I loved a bootcut jean. In fact, I've still got some. But I don't love them as much anymore. They don't seem to suit me as much anymore. I like the skinny jeans better. Does that mean other people shouldn't wear them? Absolutely not. Does it mean I don't want to wear them? Yes. And that's how we have to look at these things. How do I feel wearing them? Am I comfortable wearing them? Do I like them? But there's definitely things on that list that should not make a reappearance. You know, the crop tops and the miniskirts. Not for me anymore. Not for my body type anymore. The bodycon dresses, not for me anymore. The shell suits, definitely not for anybody anymore. The cycling shorts, not for me. Just not for me. And regardless of whether these things come back around, whether these things come back into fashion or not, that doesn't matter to me because I'm not really a follower of fashion. I like to wear the things that I like to wear. I've never been a follower of fashion. I've never been one to follow the trends. I've never been one that's got involved in the latest fads. I've never been into brands, that sort of thing. Don't get me wrong, I like a quality in clothes, but that's not make or break for me either. I'll quite happily go buy some really cheap clothes if I really like them, and I'm gonna wear them, you know? So for me, that's much more important. And for other things, there's just a reason why we don't wear them anymore. There's a reason. There are themed parties, seventies parties, eighties parties, nineties parties. There is something about the nostalgia that means that when we get dressed up in those styles again, we have a good time, we enjoy it. Does that mean we should wear them all again? Not necessarily. And these fashions circulate back round. Seventies style clothes come back round. Eighties style clothes definitely come back round. You know, you look at the jeans and things like that, and the nineties stuff comes back round. You know, there was a period of time where people were wearing a lot of dungarees again, that sort of stuff, it all comes back round. That doesn't mean that I want to wear the exact clothes that I was looking back at and thinking, I wish I could wear that now. There's different ways to wear these clothes now. And the thing is, over time, loads of stuff changes, right? I'm obviously older now than I was, so there's a lot of stuff that will not look good on me. If I put a shell suit on now, it would be ridiculous. If I was to wear the bodycon dresses, if I was to wear the miniskirts and crop tops, if I was to wear, I don't know, all the bright neon stuff from the eighties, I'm gonna look ridiculous in it because it just doesn't suit me. It doesn't suit me, it doesn't suit who I am, it doesn't suit my personality. And this is not about what other people think. It's not about whether people would laugh at me. It's not about whether people would look at me and think, oh, who is she to be wearing that? Or look at that. People of your size should not be wearing that. That's not my concern. I am concerned with how I look and feel in clothes for myself. Obviously, I don't want to go out with my husband and him be completely embarrassed about what I'm wearing. Right. I don't want to put anybody in that position. But also, this isn't about anybody else, it's about me and what I'm happy wearing. I would not be happy in a tight mini skirt and crop top. Just wouldn't. It's just not my style. It doesn't suit me, it doesn't suit my body type and that's not for me. Thanks. But also there's things like my personal style. What am I personally interested in wearing? What do I feel comfortable in that changes over time, but not massively. Some people will go through phases of changing their style. They'll keep up to date with the latest trends. So a couple of years ago, they might have been wearing, you know, whatever they were wearing and now their wardrobe is completely different because they like to move and change. I'm not like that. I'm quite a not set in my ways, but I like what I like and I tend to not deviate too much from it. So I am a jeans wearer. I do tend to live on the holding jeans, except in summer. I've moved into more wide leg trousers and things like that now. But that's another example, isn't it? My style changes according to the seasons. In the winter, it's going to be more jeans and jumpers and things like that. In the summer, I'm happy wearing loose trousers, not really tight tops, but, you know, not also the big baggy t shirts. It's just I found my way. I found my way and I found the things that I like to wear and also, what purpose do they serve? You know, what. What am I doing when I'm wearing these clothes? So the stuff that I wear to go shopping at the weekend, to sit in the garden, to do the housework, to socialise with my friends, it changes depending on the situation I'm in. And that clothing is also different to what I wear when I go to work. You know, I don't wear the same stuff at the weekends that I wear to work. My work wardrobe is very different. It is smarter trousers, blouses, that sort of thing. And I don't tend to wear blouses at the weekend. So I dress for me, but I also dress for the purpose that they need to serve that day and how I need to present myself. So basically, what I'm trying to get to with all of this is what if finding your style could just be about what you like and what you want to wear and what feels good? What if clothes shopping was fun and interesting instead of a pain? I know that shopping in a bigger body is more difficult. I have that problem going into shops in town. I can't do that. But what I can do is order a load of stuff online and see what suits me when it gets to me. So I can go to an online store, order a range of things in my size or what I think is my size, and when it gets to me, try it all on and see what I like and what I don't like and send back the stuff that I don't like. If you did that, could that help you to figure out what you want to wear? I know that clothes shopping in a bigger body is not always fun. I know there are limits out there to the stuff that you can access to the clothes shops you can go to, to what you can find on the high street. But what if we could see this as a fun thing to do instead? What if clothes shopping online meant opening up this new wardrobe that you get to pick and choose from? What if you could see it that way? What if you could see it as ordering lots of different styles, lots of different shapes, lots of different colours? And when they get to you trying it on and just seeing what you like, maybe there'd be stuff there that you wouldn't have thought looked good on you. And actually, when you put it on, it looks bloody fantastic. And what if that meant that you could enjoy finding something that suited you? If I went into a clothes shop in town to do that, I would walk in, I would have to find the stuff in my sizes, I would have to go to the changing rooms with all of this stuff, and I'd have arms full of clothes and they would say, you can't take all that in there. Don't be silly. You can have a maximum of six items. And I'd be like, I can't decide from six items. I'm gonna have to go backwards and forwards. Backwards and forwards. No, no, no. Shop at home. Way easier. Just have it all delivered, try on, see what you like, and then send the stuff back. And I know that money is an issue for some people in doing this, but there are ways and means of doing it. So I've got a couple of credit accounts with clothing stores online. I order stuff and then I send back what I don't like or what I don't need or want. So I have the option to order it on credit and then send the stuff back so I don't have to pay for it upfront. But there are other options as well. There's things like Klarna stuff like that where you can order and pay in instalments or not pay straight away, you know, pay in 30 days or whatever, get the stuff, try it on, send it back. Now, I'm also not saying get yourself into debt to do this, right. Please don't take that from this. But what I'm saying is there could be options there. If you have the facilities to do it, why not use it? If you have credit accounts, if you have a credit card, if you are able to use things like spreading over the payments, then why would you not take advantage of that in order to find a few key pieces for your wardrobe that you can really enjoy wearing? I don't think that I would have found some of the clothes that I wear now if I hadn't have done that for myself. I have definitely got patterned wide led trousers that I have kept because I've ordered them, thinking, oh, give them a go. And then when they got to me and I've put them on, I'm like, actually, I really, really love them. I really love them and I've kept them. And then I've bought a couple of basic t shirts and things to go with them. So today I've got on just a basic black top and I've got them on with a pair of wide legs, patterned trousers. And I would never have had those trousers if I hadn't have ordered a load of stuff and just had a go, you know, do you have to stick to the same stuff all the time? Why can't you change what you wear? Why can't you find new things that suit you? Why can't you try some different styles and see if there's something there you actually really like? It's so good to branch out a little bit and push your comfort zone a little bit. I've started wearing dresses. I never used to wear dresses. I really never used to wear dresses. I've never been a dresses girl. But summer, now I've got a few dresses. If I go to a social event, I will probably wear a dress. If I go on holiday, I go with a suitcase full of dresses. I never used to wear dresses. But through trying things and thinking, well, you know, I'm in a different point in my life now, maybe a dress will suit me now, then. It's worked out brilliantly. And I have found these new avenues of clothes to go down. And I think what really helps here is having the confidence in myself to do it. I've let go of all of these stupid beauty standards that people try and impose on me. I have let go of dieting. I'm no longer trying to change my body. And in that confidence in that body confidence, it's meant that I own it more. I now wear what I want to wear, and I want to wear these clothes because I like them and because I'm comfortable in them and because I think they suit me. And if other people do not agree, I couldn't care less. Honestly, the greatest thing you can do for yourself is to take that power back and own what you're wearing, own your choices, and just wear things because you like them, wear them because you want to wear them, you know? So if we go back to the statement at the beginning of this episode, that was, I wish I could wear that again. I don't wish I could wear that again. What I'm wishing when I said that statement was, I wish I could be comfortable wearing those clothes again. And that is a different thing. I wish that I could be comfortable wearing clothes that I love to wear. I wish that I could have clothes that make me feel good when I put them on. That's what I'm after. I don't wish that I could wear those clothes again. I just wish that I have clothes that feel good when I wear them and that I think, suit me now. And you can have that. You can have that. You don't need to look back and wish that you had those clothes again. You don't even have to look back and wish that your body was the same or that your body was able to fit into those clothes that you used to wear. It's not about. It is about your confidence in the clothes that you choose to wear. The clothes are almost irrelevant. Those clothes from way back when that you wish that you could wear. That's no different to having a load of clothes now that don't fit you properly or that you're too self conscious to wear. It's not about the actual clothes. It's about your confidence. And it's about your wanting to wear clothes that make you feel good and make you feel confident or increase your confidence rather. So. I wonder if you could see clothes shopping slightly differently. I wonder if you could see your wardrobe slightly differently now. I wonder if you could expand your wardrobe. Try on some pieces that you wouldn't usually wear. Why not order some bits and pieces that you would never have thought to try and just see what happens. It's good fun. Try it. Try it. I've never been a big clothes shopper, but it is. It is quite good. It's quite good fun. And just be prepared to laugh at yourself because some of the stuff you put on, you'll be like, what the hell? And, yeah, and you'll shove it back in that bag really, really quickly and you'll send it back. But, you know, for every, for every handful of pieces that are like that, maybe you'll find one absolutely brilliant piece that you're so surprised that you love and that you want to keep and you want to wear all the time, and that would be brilliant. Oh, so, um, tell me, tell me about the stuff that you used to wear, right? Send me a message. Tell me what you used to wear that you used to absolutely love wearing that. When you look back on now, you're like, what was I thinking? Because I want to hear about those photos, right? If you want to send me a photo, if you want to email me a photo or WhatsApp me with a photo, go ahead, make my day. Give me your best fashion nightmares from way back when all the links are in the show notes, you can. You can WhatsApp me. Yeah, I want to hear it. I want to hear it. I want to see it. Gotta laugh at these things. Gotta laugh at these things. I will never, ever put a shell suit on again. Let's just go with that. Speak to you next week.