146. Are you justifying your diet? Let's talk about those excuses!

Have you ever caught yourself explaining your diet to someone? 

Diet culture has convinced us that we need to justify what we eat and why we eat it, and some of those justifications are downright ridiculous! 

In this episode, I’m going to give you 20 of my favourite diet excuses, explaining why they’re a little bit crazy, laughing at the nonsense, and uncovering the real reasons why we feel the need to explain our food choices.

If you’ve ever said things like “It’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle!” or “I have to track everything or I’ll lose control,” then this episode is for you! 

Let’s challenge these beliefs, find some food freedom, and ditch the justifications.

Get your kitchen & pantry makeover checklist here

Transcript

0:09

Welcome to the intuitive eating and body positivity podcast. I'm Terri and I'll be talking about all things intuitive eating, body positivity and health at every size and shaking off weight stigma, diet culture and food rules so that we can all have a better relationship with food and our bodies. Hiya! Happy Valentine's Day to you. I know it's not Valentine's Day when you're listening to this, but it's Valentine's Day while I'm recording it, so I'm gonna say it anyway. I hope you had a really nice Valentine's Day, whatever it was that you did. Do you know what Valentine's Day looks like in our house? It looks like sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine, Netflix, and my husband. That is it. We don't celebrate Valentine's Day. We do a card and that is it. So I know that some people go all out for Valentine's Day and that is lovely if that's what you do. It's just not what we do. We just don't really We just, I think we're quite nice to each other all year round. You know, I don't think that we need to be spending one day buying things and overpriced flowers and all that. You know, they always price them up, don't they? Valentine's Day, flowers gets very much more expensive, but we just don't bother. So we do a card and that's nice and that's enough for us. That's all good. But I hope you had a really nice day, whatever you do. Do you celebrate? Do you go out? Do you go for food? Do you just do nothing? Maybe you're not in a position to do Valentine's Day. Maybe you've got a secret crush and you sent them a secret card. That's reminding me of school. That's so lovely if that's what you do. That's exciting. So whatever Valentine's Day looked like for you, I hope it was lovely. This week we've got a change of plan. I know last week I said to you that soon I was going to be speaking to a guy to talk about body positivity for men in bigger bodies and clothes for men in bigger bodies, that sort of thing. Slight change of schedule. We're still doing it. I'm still going to record with him and get you an episode. But we just had to change. We just had to reschedule. So that is still coming. It's just not this week as planned. Instead, I'm talking to you about how you justify your diet. Now, I don't know if you realise that you do this when you're on a diet, but I'm telling you, you do this when you're on a diet. Excuses. Right? Have you ever caught yourself explaining your diet to someone else, even when they didn't ask? That little inner guilt raises itself and you feel the need to justify what you're eating or how you're eating it or when you're eating it or how much you're eating, you know. Whatever the weird and wonderful diet behavior is, you feel the need to justify it. And in your head, you truly believe that it is the God-given truth. It is the truth and you will die on that hill. But let's face it, it's often not the truth, is it? So I want to give you some examples. Maybe a friend has raised an eyebrow because you are eating some kind of lettuce-wrapped burger and you've done it because you're on a diet, not because it's a dietary need or something. And somebody wonders why you're skipping the cake at the office. And instead of saying, I'm on a diet, you launch into this elaborate justification. Deep down, you probably know it doesn't really make sense. Or maybe you do think it makes sense. Maybe you do think that it's the truth. Maybe you do believe it because that's what the diet has done to you. It's brainwashed you in that way. Let's break down some of these kind of common justifications. Let's see them from what they really are. They're just excuses wrapped up in diet culture. So let's have a look at some of them. You can imagine these with this line before it that goes something like, no, the crazy thing that the diode asked me to do is good for me because, now it's good for me because it teaches me self-control, it teaches me discipline. If you use that one, it teaches me discipline, it gives me self-control. Yes, because food should be a moral test of willpower, yes? Honestly, you do not need to be taught discipline and self-control around food. It is actually the diet that is reversing that. It's the diet that makes you out of control with food. It's the diet that makes you feel like you've got no control over anything you eat and any amount you eat. And the diet is giving you that control back. It's not the truth. Eating should not be a test of willpower. It should be something that fuels your body. It should be something that is intuitive. You should know what to eat and when to eat it based on what your body's asking for. You don't need discipline and self-control. There's actually another episode on this. I did a whole episode on willpower. Episode 17. Episode 17! God, that feels like years ago. That was a long time ago, isn't it? That's a brand new baby episode. But yes, go back and listen to that one. That'll tell you why you don't need willpower when you're eating. Here's another one. I only cut out bad foods that my body doesn't need. Right, so, which foods are bad exactly? The ones you enjoy? The ones with actual nutrients in them? What food is it that is bad? Let's be real, if your body craves it, it's probably because it needs it on some level. It needs something that's in it. Food is really only bad if it's gonna poison you, if it's not cooked properly, if it is past itself by date, that sort of thing. That is when food is bad for you. If you're talking about actual types of foods, like carbs, sugar, fat, crisps, chocolate, pizza, all that sort of stuff, the food isn't bad. The food has got nutrients in it that your body can use. We consider them to be bad because diets tell us that they're bad, for starters, but we also think of them as bad for us and causing weight gain. That's primarily why we think that a food is bad for us. There are also some real healthism issues when it comes to food being called good and bad. Some people think food is bad because it causes inflammation in the body and X, Y, Z. No food is bad, you just need to eat it in a fashion that your body needs it. So if you're intuitive eating and you really fancy something sugary, it's probably because you're craving some energy. And that's what sugary foods will give you. That's what carby foods will give you. They'll give you energy. That's what your body likes the best when it's low on energy. So there are no such thing as good and bad foods. Just eat the ones you enjoy, yes? What about, I'm not restricting, I'm just making better choices? That translates as, I really want that slice of cake but my diet book says no, so instead I'm going to eat this dry rice cake. You are restricting if you are cutting food out. If you are not eating the slice of cake and instead eating a rice cake, you are restricting calories. You are restricting food. So yes, you are restricting. I feel so much lighter when I don't eat carbs or sugar or dairy or whatever else you want to add on to the end of there. You feel lighter. Could that be called hunger? Could it be dehydration? Could it be the absence of joy in your eating? Now, this is a funny one, isn't it? I feel lighter when I don't eat XYZ. Now, it is a possibility that not eating something like carbs or not eating something like fat, you know, can make you feel better, can make you feel what you perceive to be lighter. and that's because maybe you're not bloating, maybe you're not having a reaction in your body that is making you feel that way. But that lighter feeling, you are associating with weight, you're not associating it with your well-being. If you are eating a food and it makes you feel stodgy or bloated or uncomfortable, you've either eaten too much of it for that time, for your level of hunger, or the food doesn't suit you. But there is a difference between not eating something because it makes you feel genuinely better inside and not eating something because it makes you feel lighter. Do you see the difference? Everyone in my group is doing it so it must be right. Okay, just because a room full of people is doing something, it does not make it healthy, it does not make it right, and it does not make it good for you. There is a word which often describes these type of things. They're called cults. And I do believe that these slimming clubs are just a stone's throw away from being a cult, aren't they? They get you in, and they sit you down, and they give you this room full of people, and they say, these people know you. These people are your people. These people are shining examples of what you want, what you want to be, and who you can become. You're like, I need this. I need this in my life. I need these people. I need the motivation. I need to be in this group. And because you see people becoming what you want to become yourself, you think they must be right. They must actually be right. Now, it doesn't seem to matter how they got there, and what disordered eating they'd been through to get there, and how much they'd restricted themselves, and how much they'd suffered to get there, but they've got what you want at that time. So it must be right. Once again, cult. I can eat whatever I want as long as I track it properly. Yep, nothing like spending 20 minutes scanning barcodes just to eat a sandwich, hey? Totally normal behaviour. The amount of time that I've spent in my life scanning barcodes on food, searching for them in apps, writing them down on pieces of paper, weighing them, measuring them, just so that I can track them properly. You lose so much of your time to that. When actually, what you just want is to have a sandwich. You just want to have a sandwich. It's lunchtime. You're hungry. You want a sandwich. If anything is followed by the words, as long as, then it's kind of negated the thing before it, hasn't it? I can eat whatever I want as long as I track it properly. Well, that's not, I can eat whatever I want. That's, I can eat whatever I want, except for foods that I haven't weighed, foods that I haven't measured, foods that I haven't written down, whatever it is. So no, you can't eat whatever you want when you're on a diet, because that's not a diet. If you are eating whatever you want, you're not dieting. So if you're on that diet and you're justifying it, saying you can eat whatever you want, you probably can't eat whatever you want. Let's look at things like Slimming World. You can't eat whatever you want, they tell you you can. And you can eat whatever you want, but in restricted quantities. And so we're back to the, well, that's not whatever you want then. Being hungry just means it's working. Does it? Does it really? Or does it mean that your body is begging you for food and that you should probably listen to it? If you're hungry, what that means is you haven't eaten enough. You haven't got enough food on board to keep your body functioning properly. You haven't got enough food on board to supply the energy for the activities that day. If you're hungry, you have run out of energy, you're running out of food. That's basically what hunger tells you. It means your stomach is empty, your reserves are low, and your body is telling you, please eat something, I need some more energy really soon. You should probably listen to that. There is nothing to be gained by letting yourself get really hungry. It makes you obsessive about food and your body and your diet. It is not a healthy place to be. I'll gain it all back if I don't stick to the plan. Mm-hmm. You mean the plan that isn't actually sustainable? The one where you have to count every bite forever? Mm-hmm. It's no surprise, is it? If you have to do something forever and a day, then it is not you just living your life. And if you have to stay on that plan to stay at that body weight, it means you're not at your best body weight. Your body is designed to be a certain weight. You're designed to be a certain shape and size. And if you have to stick to a plan to maintain what you've become, And if you let go of that plan and it starts to come back on, you are not at your healthiest weight. You are not at the weight that is the best for your body. It's not where you're designed to be. So you might gain it back if you don't stick to the plan. In fact, the majority of diets will show that you do gain it back and more if you don't stick to the plan. But that's not sustainable. You can't do that forever. My leader says, my consultant says, this is the healthiest way to eat. Now I have a big issue with Slimming Club consultants telling you that it is the healthiest way to eat, the best way to eat, it is the best for your body, because they are almost certainly not a registered dietitian or have any nutritional training at all other than the course that they did to become that consultant. Maybe they took an online course, a really quick pay seven pounds and become a nutritionist. You can do all of these courses all over the place. My love, it does not make you a nutritionist. My degree took a very, very long time and hours and hours of study and assignments and research and case studies and I could not have done that in the time it takes these courses. or for the amount of money that these courses charges while we're thinking about it. But my studies are by the by. What we're saying is these consultants, these leaders, they are not trained in nutrition. They are trained in the diet plan. And what they know is the stuff that the diet company has taught them that they have to teach you. So when your leader says this is the healthiest way to eat, I don't know that you can really hang your hat on that and make that the gospel truth. Here's a big one. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle. Oh God, the amount of times I've said that. It's not a diet, no. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle. I can do this for the rest of my life. If it has a name, and a rule book, and a membership fee, and you feel like you have to stick to it forever and ever, amen, it is probably a diet. Simple, I'll just leave that one there. Need some more? I can keep going, I've got loads of these. My body just needs to get used to eating this way. Does it? Or maybe your body is literally begging you to stop torturing it. Maybe your body is begging you for food. It is begging you for energy. It is begging you for nutrients. If you are hungry, excessively hungry, in pain, in discomfort, not satisfied, struggling with your mental energy and your physical energy because of your eating, your body doesn't need to get used to it. Your body needs food. Thank you. I'm cleansing my system and I'm getting rid of toxins. How many diets have you seen like that? Do you remember the celery juice diet? Well, that was a whole load of barmy, wasn't it? Yep, celery juice, ultimate in cleansing and detoxing. There are many, many more examples of that in the world. But good news, your liver and your kidneys already do this for free. You don't need detox juices, you don't need detox teas, you don't need anything like that. You have a body that does it for you. I'm not obsessed, I'm just committed to my goals. If you are thinking about food 24-7, if every waking moment that you do not have to focus on something else you're thinking about food, and even if you do have to focus on other things, you're still thinking about food, if you're avoiding social events, if you are panicking about going off plan, that is not commitment. That is diet culture's grip on you. Thinking about food all day long, thinking about your body all day long, thinking about your weight and whether it's going up or down all day long is obsession. It is not commitment to goals. If you are being driven to think like that all the time, that shows restriction in your body. And the fact that you're thinking like that is your body very cleverly saying, You need to eat something. You need to eat something. You need to eat something. Pay attention to me, eat something. And if you just eat something, and if you just eat in an intuitive way, then your body will prompt you to eat when you're ready and need to eat, but it won't make you think about it 24 hours a day. It's science. Calories in, calories out. Oh God, isn't that gym bro stuff? Science bro. Calories in, calories out. That gets bandied around all the time. Yes, mathematically, calories in and calories out will lead to a calorie deficit or What's the opposite of deficit, surplus or a calorie surplus? Fact. If you eat more than you burn, you've got a surplus of calories. If you eat less than you burn, you've got a deficit and then the deficit creates this weight loss. It is, it's a maths equation. If only our bodies worked like simple maths equations, hey? But they don't, because there's so much more that goes into it than just the calories that you eat and the calories that you burn. Your health on any given day, your time in your cycle, your menstrual cycle, your genetics, what you're designed to need food-wise, Your activity levels on any given day, the types of food that you eat, the types of energy that you expend, not the types of energy you expend, the types of exercise and movement and physical and mental drain on your energy that you've got, there's so much that goes into how much energy you need in a day and so how much food you need in a day. It is not as simple as calories in, calories out. It does not just work like that. I'm fine. I'm fine on this diet. I don't even feel hungry anymore. Oh, that's not a win. That's worrying. That's really, really worrying. That is your body shutting down hunger signals because it's given up trying to get you to listen. So I like the example of hunger being a neighbor that knocks on the door, right? So bear with me. Let me explain this analogy to you. Your neighbor, Hunger, comes knocking at the door and you answer the door. So when I say you answer the door, I mean you eat food, right? So Hunger knocks, you eat. With me so far? Then Hunger comes back, your neighbor comes back and knocks on the door again and you think, oh, it hasn't been long since I opened the door. So they can wait. and they knock, and they knock a bit louder, and they knock a bit louder, and knock a bit louder, and they're like, okay, all right, and you open the door, which means you've got really, really hungry, and so you finally caved in and you've eaten. Because they've been stood there for so long, they've got more to say to you, so you end up stood there for ages, which means you have left the hunger far too long, and now you binge a bit, you eat more than you would have done if you'd just opened the door the first time. And then next time hunger comes back, you ignore it. You ignore the door. You let it go. You let it go. You let it go. And your neighbor goes back home thinking you're not there. And then next time hunger comes back and knocks on the door, knocks on the door, knocks on the door, and you don't answer. So they just go home. And eventually what happens is your neighbor stops coming round. Your neighbor stops knocking because they think, well, you're never there. You're not gonna answer even if you are there. They could stand there and knock all day long and you just wouldn't open the door. So what is even the point anymore? And this is your hunger. Eventually, it stops knocking. it shuts down these signals because it has given up. So if you've got to the point where you don't feel hungry anymore, then that's not surprising given that that's what diets generally drive you to. It may take a bit of time to get back in tune with that and it can be done and I can definitely help you with that if you want me to. that hunger can come back. Your neighbour can enjoy coming round for a cuppa again. But, hunger disappearing is not a good thing. Okay? So if right now you're saying, oh it's fine, I just don't get hungry anymore. It's not okay. If you are not eating and you're not getting hungry, that's not okay. Now obviously the flip side of that is that you could not be hungry because you're grazing all the time and you're eating regularly and that's fine because you're generally, if you're dieting, not doing that or you are but you're still getting hungry because you're not eating enough. So if you're not getting hungry and you're constantly grazing, you probably are eating enough and then you're probably not dieting. Obviously there's nuance to that. But if you are not eating very much and you are not getting hungry, that's not okay. I'm just resetting my metabolism. Are you? Because metabolisms don't have a reset button. Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't that be nice? No, you can't. You can't just reset your metabolism. So if you're on a diet, that is a very poor excuse. It worked for my friend, so it'll work for me. My friend had great results. She lost all this weight. She looks bloody brilliant. And so it'll work for me too. I'm going to do what she did. I'm going to do just what she did. And I'm going to follow exactly the same plan and eat exactly what she eats in a day. Brilliant. It'll work for me. Well, I hate to break it to you, but your friend's body is not your body. It will almost certainly have a different genetic makeup. In fact, I guarantee it's got a genetic makeup that is not the same as yours. Your friend also probably has different activity levels, has a different relationship with food, needs a different amount of calories in a day, responds differently to the different types of foods that she eats compared to you. What works for one person is not guaranteed to work for another. Okay, so if you're saying, well, it worked for my friend, so it'll work for me, it might do, but it also might not do. Might not do? I meant, it also might not. So if that's the excuse you're using, if that is the justification for you doing your diet, no, not valid. Sorry. I need to stick to this or I lose control. That's another one, isn't it? I need to stick to it, otherwise I'll just lose control. I know we talked about self-control at the beginning of this episode. I think there is also a different way of looking at self-control. Some people stay on diet plans because they don't dare stop. Because if they do stop, they're going to lose control. The fear of losing control and binging around all the foods that they've been restricting for such a long time is often enough to keep people on a diet. So if a diet makes you feel like the only alternative is chaos, it is not good for you. It's really bad to be in that situation where you're constantly in fear of food. And yes, if you move into intuitive eating, there can be this honeymoon period where you do feel like you've gone a little bit crazy around all the food, and you do overindulge, shall we say, in foods that you have been missing out on for such a long time. But that's because your body needs to go through a phase where it learns to trust you again, and it needs to know that you're not going to deprive yourself of this stuff anymore. So, unfortunately, you do sometimes have to go through that little period of chaos. But then out the other side comes this brilliant way of living where you don't lose control and you do just enjoy all foods. Wouldn't that be a lot nicer? Sometimes you have to fear the feel. Goodness me. Feel the fear and do it anyway. That's what I was trying to say. Sometimes you just have to do it. You have to take a leap of faith. Go through it. Come and join the membership. You can do that with us. We'll support you. We'll help you with that. I'm doing this for my future self. Your future self might just want to enjoy pizza without feeling guilty, actually. Your future self might just want to enjoy food and everything it has to offer. Your future self might want a freedom around food. Your future self might want to just feel great and confident and live a full life in the body that she has. I'm sure your future self doesn't want to still be living in this restrictive place around food. You know, the thing that you're doing forever, because as we've already said, you justify doing this plan for as long as you live. So what does your future self want? When you look ahead, which future self do you want? The one who's still dieting, the one who's still restricting, the one who's still weighing and measuring and tracking and counting, or the one that's just chilled out and just enjoying food? And the final example I'll give you, it's the only way I can stay accountable. Accountable to who? Who do you feel you have to be accountable to with your food? The diet industry? Your fitness tracker? Karen from the swimming club? I don't know, who are you being accountable to? You don't have to justify your food to anybody. You don't have to be accountable to anybody. So that's a list of 20. I gave you 20 things there that you might be saying in justification of the diet you're on. None of those 20 things make sense. I'm willing to bet though, if you've been on a diet or you are still on a diet, you have said many of those things. And it's time it stopped, my love. It's time that that did not happen anymore. It is time that you stopped justifying yourself to everybody and stop justifying your food choices and stop justifying why you are or you're not having this food when you're out eating with them. No more. You don't have to justify your eating. It is not your fault. Diet culture is very sneaky. It convinces us that these justifications are normal. But you don't have to explain, you don't have to justify your eating habits to anyone. You don't need a set of rules to eat. You don't need to punish yourself for enjoying food. So next time you catch yourself saying one of these, take a pause and ask yourself, do I actually believe this or is this just a diet culture thing? Next time you hear yourself talking about your food, have a little think, am I justifying what I'm doing here or am I just talking about food in a way that is lovely? Are you opening your mouth and dieting comes out or are you opening your mouth and you're just talking good stuff about your food? You deserve better than these rules and justifications, okay? And you deserve the freedom of not dieting. And yes, you deserve the slice of cake if you bloody well want it. Have you got any more examples? Have you got any more examples of things you say or somebody else has said to you? Maybe somebody else has said something and you've looked at them and kind of gone, what? That's a load of nonsense. I want to hear about them, please. So drop me a message. The links in the show notes. You can text me. You can WhatsApp me. You can DM me. Just let me know. Yeah, let me know what you've heard. I want to hear them. I like a good giggle. Right, over and out for this week. Just a little pre-recorded announcement coming up but I will speak to you next week. Take care. Bye-bye.