153. Why staying small is breaking your spirit (one quiet choice at a time)

We don’t always realise when we’re holding ourselves back. It can look like skipping dessert, staying quiet in meetings, dressing down, or waiting for someone to talk to us at a networking event. On the surface, it seems like no big deal. But underneath it’s a pattern of staying small, and it chips away at our confidence bit by bit.

In this episode, I’m looking at the subtle but powerful ways we keep ourselves small in our everyday lives, and what it’s really costing us.

I’m talking about,

💃 The everyday signs that you might be keeping yourself small
👗 Why it often feels safer to stay small (and why that makes sense!)
🍰 How staying small holds you back – emotionally, professionally, and personally
🔇 Gentle but powerful ways to start taking up more space in the world
💭 One question to help you shift out of hiding and into showing up

I know that playing small means you often feel overlooked, frustrated, or like the real you is hiding in the background, so this episode is for you. 

There’s even a reflection prompt inside this one, and I’d love to hear what small act of boldness you try this week!

Oh, and I’m also telling you about my new YouTube troll. It’s hilarious, honestly!

Also, if you’d like to see photos of Luna and Mabel, you can do that here: https://terripugh.com/about-terri-pugh/.

Transcript

0:09

Welcome to the Intuitive Eating and Body Positivity podcast. I'm Terri and I'll be talking about all things intuitive eating, body positivity, and health at every size. And shaking off weight stigma, diet, culture, and food rules so that we can all have a better relationship with food and our bodies. Hello. Good afternoon. Oh, well afternoon for me. Have you had a good week? Did you have a good Easter? How was it? Did you eat lots of chocolate disappointingly? I did not. I didn't have that much chocolate this Easter, but what I did have, most of it is still in the cupboard still. Hmm. The joys of being an intuitive eater. Right. So I had an Easter egg from my dad as usual. Do you know what he said though? He said this might have to be the last one. Hmm. Not on my watch Sunny Gym. How dare he come round and say, that's the last Easter egg he's gonna buy me. He will be telling me that he's giving up, buying us advent calendars as well soon. No, no, no, no. I broke the news to my daughter and I said, NDA says he's not gonna buy any drugs anymore. And she's like, hang on a minute. You can't just go all this time. You can't go all these years and then just stop. It is not okay. But, um, I had an Easter egg off him and I had one off my daughter as well, which is really sweet. That's really nice. She came round and. Her and her partner came around and they had dinner with us and we just had a nice day and yeah, they bought, they bought chocolate eggs for us, so that's nice. Very unexpected. But it was good. It was nice. And yet there's still some chocolate in the cupboard. Just not felt the need to eat it all. I've had someone, I fancied it that is that, that's the way it should be. Right. But also no shame on you if you have eaten all your chocolate because it's there to be enjoyed. So as long as you've enjoyed it, that is the main thing. Done some work on my website this week, and I'm telling you this because I've created an About Me page. I've never had one of those on my website. It's been on the to-do list for a long, long time, and I finally got round to doing it. So on my website is now in About Me page. The reason I tell you this is because I talk about Luna and Mabel all the time on this podcast, but it is not a visual platform. Well, the way I put my podcast out is not visual. So you only ever get to hear about them. And if I were you, I'd be thinking, I wonder what they look like. I wonder what they look like. And then it helps you see them a little more clearly when I'm talking about them. So on my About Me page. Just for you is photos of Luna and Mabel. They're so cute. Even if I do say so myself. But yeah, if you are wondering what they look like and you want to see, you can go to my About Me page and they are there. I'll put the link in the show notes anyway. But if you go to terripugh.com and then go to the about page. It's easy to find. It's there in the menu, but I'll put the link in the show notes anyway, but go have a look. Go have a look at my cute little cats. What else has happened this week? Oh, I've got myself a troll now. I know I asked for comments. I know I asked for comments on my podcast. But there's commenting and then there's just outright abuse. I got myself a troll on YouTube. This is a first for me. I've never had a troll before. I think I quite like it. Hmm? I played little games with them. It's nice. I'm not bothered by these things, right? So if you are the person that has been trolling me, I really don't care, because you know what this does? It boosts my presence on social media. It puts me in people's feeds more. The more comments I get, the more YouTube and the other platforms think, oh, people like her stuff. They are engaging with her. They really like what she has to say, so we'll just show her to more people. And that's what I've really enjoyed about getting all these comments. I mean, it's lovely if you are just, you know, a normal listener who engages with me nicely over on any of the platforms, then thank you. I really genuinely appreciate it because it does all these things for me. I love talking to you. I love talking to listeners, but I also. Do like that. It boosts my presence and I want more people to find the podcast. I want more people to engage with me. I want more people to hear what we have to say about this industry and about the diet industry and how to escape the wraths of it. So when you comment, it means a lot to me because I love to engage with you anyway. But it also means that I'm gonna be more visible for other people. So it's multifaceted. Right? So this troll, hi there. Troll. If you're listening, it's just boosting me. Um, and I'm all right with that. So, you know, I have some lovely little conversation with my troll. She told me I'd lost the plot, and I'm like, yeah. But yeah. Here you are still watching, still commenting. And that was in response to me saying, I've got the best job in the world, uh, which I have by the way. I do believe that apparently she says, I have a serious problem with food. I should just stop eating so much. Um, well said, eating too much, but then it was TO much eating too much, not eating too much. Hmm. I corrected her on that. Her English will be better after me. Um, apparently I just couldn't do Slimming World and that was my problem. And I am bigger than the seats in the theater because I'm not very good at Slimming World. Uh, what else did she say? Just because there was a birthday didn't mean I had to eat the cake. That's sad, isn't it? I did tell her, I told her I feel sorry for her. If you're choosing a diet over a family or friends' celebrations, that's, that's sad. Really what she also said is, shouldn't have eat any then you shouldn't have eaten any then. So I corrected her. I told her it's eaten, and she said, just 'cause there was birthday cake. So I said, it's because. You know, at least use correct English when you're trying to criticize somebody. Right. Uh, she said she's never heard so much rubbish, which is lovely. All the crap I chat apparently. Um, again, telling me slimming wheel didn't work for me, you know, it's nice and yeah, on she goes on and on and on. And then it seems like she went on a right mission to just comment on everything I've done. It must be exhausting for her having to keep up and try and make sure she comments on everything I put out there. But all the time, all the time she's telling me that I talk nonsense and that everything I say is rubbish. She's still there commenting, still there following me, still there paying attention to everything I'm doing. I think she's a little obsessed with me. I think she is. But you'll be pleased to know I've given her some lovely English lessons. I've corrected her on the difference between your YOUR and your YOU apostrophe RE. I think that's an important one to know in life. And yeah, I mean, she's got a bit quiet. Maybe she's on holiday or something, I don't know. But yeah, I look forward to her coming back. But feel free, go over there and, um, give me some love or give her some love because she must be a very sad person if she's having to spend her time just trolling somebody. And that makes me sad for her. I did say that to her. I did say I felt sad that, you know. There she is. Just commenting all this stuff with nothing better to do with her time. Hope she finds a hobby or something. I did say I hope she enjoys the bank holiday and that I really hope that she finds something a little nicer to do than being shitty to other people on their videos. I mean, she commented a lot after that, but you know. Anyway, we'll see. We'll see how life progresses with my good friend Chantelle. So let's talk about something that so many of us do sometimes without realizing it. Keeping yourself small. Now, I'm not talking about weight loss here. I'm not talking about keeping yourself in a smaller body. I'm talking about not showing up in life. And it might sound a bit vague, but once you start noticing it, it's everywhere and you'll start seeing how you're doing it. It's things like not putting on the outfit you wanted to wear. Because it felt too bold, too colorful, so you stick to neutral colors or you don't order dessert because you didn't want to be the only one and stand out, or you stayed quiet in a meeting even though you had something to say because you didn't want people to be looking at you or judging you or whatever. Keeping small. In life is basically trying to take up as little space physically, emotionally, socially, as possible, and it often comes from a place of fear. More often than not, it's something like a fear of judgment, a fear of not fitting in, a fear of seeming selfish, somehow, a fear of being too much for other people. It's a fear of something. That's why you are not standing out. That's why you're not showing up fully. So let's look at those examples a little bit more, and feel free to comment and tell me if this rings a bell with you. Things like wearing neutral colors, dressing down, not wearing the clothes you really, really like. But wearing the clothes that you feel are acceptable, uh, wearing trousers all the time when you really wanna wear a dress because you don't want those comments that go, oh, got a dress on today. I remember going to the office once upon a time many years ago, and I always wore trousers, jeans, that sort of thing. It was the kind of place where you could, because we worked with a lot of young people, and I remember going to the office one day and I had bought a new skirt. It was office appropriate. It was really nice. I really, really liked it. I can see it vividly as I look back now and I'm like, I really like that skirt. I really still like that skirt. I'd put it on in the morning and I felt like I was being brave because I never wore a skirt to work and I wore it to work and I got a lot of comments and they were nice comments. They were lots of things like, oh, what a nice skirt, or, oh, you look great in that, or Nice to see you wearing something else. There were also comments that were a little bit strange, like, oh, got your legs out. You know, people think that that's the kind of fun acceptable thing to say, don't they? And there was nothing in it. There was nothing super personal in it. It was just like, oh, she got her legs out. Meaning, oh, she used, she got trousers on. And I know that I looked good in that skirt. I know that it was workplace appropriate. I know that people were only commenting because it, they liked to see it and they thought I look nice, but I never wore that skirt again. Because it drew attention and I wanted to stay small. I didn't wanna stand out. I didn't wanna be the center of attention. I didn't want people commenting on what I look like, what I was wearing, that sort of thing. And quite often we can do a lot of things to detract from our clothing choices if we were unafraid. We will wear neutral colors. We won't wear the pinks and reds and yellows, you know, the bright, cheerful colors. Even in summer, even in spring and summer, we'll dress those colors down so that we don't stand out. We'll dress our choices down. Maybe that's in how formal you dress, so maybe you are. Wearing reasonably formal clothes because you don't want to put on that blouse and jacket and look formal and look professional and look like you know what you are doing because maybe somebody will think something of that. So instead you wear a smart top, but a neutral color and one that doesn't have a lot going on, and maybe you wear a cardigan instead of a jacket, you know? Maybe you do it in social situations, so you go somewhere in jeans and a t-shirt and pair of boots, and what you really, really wanna wear is a bright, colorful dress. Now, it might not be that extreme for you, but maybe it's as much as a change of the style of TR that you're wearing. So maybe people are used to seeing you in jeans. You want to wear some loose, wide-legged tailored trousers, anything just to not draw attention to yourself, just to stay fitting in and the normal you that everybody knows, do you do that? How are you feeling about your clothes now? Do you do that sort of thing? It could be not getting up to dance at a party.'cause people might, God forbid, look at you. Who is she to be having a good time. That's quite often what we think. I'll just sit down. I'll stay here. I'll have a little bop in my chair, and I'll just stay here and have a drink and stuff. I'll pretend that my shoes are hurting or whatever. I'll just sit here and watch. I'll just look after the bags. I'll just sit at the table, make sure every everybody's stuff is safe. That sort of thing, and you sit there and you watch and you desperately wanna be up there having a good time with everybody else. You want to be in that crowd of people on the dance floor, but you're not because you are worried about what people will think of you. What about holding back an opinion in a group because somebody might not agree? Are you a bit of a people pleaser in that respect? Do you not want to create any kind of conflict? Do you not want your voice to be heard? Because someone might disagree, especially if there are more powerful voices in that group. It might be that you've got somebody in the friendship circle that always has something to say, and it's always louder said than anybody else's. You know the kind of person that I mean, right. Are you not speaking up? Are you not voicing your opinion? Because then you might have to battle with the stronger voices. Maybe it's something you think is a controversial thing to say. Maybe you are going against the grain of a lot of other people in the group, but maybe just maybe what if you were to start that conversation and that gave others in the group permission to agree with you? I. We don't ever see that being a possibility. We always think we are gonna say the one thing that goes against what everybody else is thinking, and in reality, there could be other people just waiting for somebody to be in that opinion view with them. But we stay small and we keep our voice quiet because we don't want people to judge us or argue with us or think badly of us. Are you keeping yourself small at work? Are you not going for a promotion because who are you to go for that role? Are you just keeping yourself small because you don't want other people to think well, she doesn't deserve that role, or she's not good enough for that role when deep down inside, you know, you would be brilliant at it. Or maybe you are thinking of one of your teammates and you are staying small and not applying because you are thinking, well, they've been here longer. They probably deserve it more. They know the role as well as I do. They should be given a chance. They, they, they, they, and it's never you. And that's very honorable. It's lovely that you are considering other people. Why shouldn't you have that role? Why shouldn't you have that choice? Why are you stepping aside to let somebody else take that role? Do you wanna be the leader? Do you wanna be a manager? Do you wanna be a team head? Do you want to be on the board of directors? Do you want to be the person that is heading up a project? What do you want? Do you want it? And you're just sat keeping yourself small? Just allowing somebody else to step up and do it. And by default, sometimes these people get these roles because nobody else shows an interest. So could that be you? Or maybe it's your own business and you are keeping yourself small in your own business. You are not charging properly because. Well, who am I to charge that money? Who am I to charge those fees? People are never gonna pay me because there is other people out there that are better than me or more qualified than me, or more experienced than me, or, but they're not you, and maybe people want you. So you are staying small. You are not charging what you are worth because you don't believe you are worth it. Maybe you're at an expo and you've gotta stand. And you don't wanna step forward and actually talk to people who are there looking for what you are offering. I've done expos. They're quite nerve-wracking standing there behind your table, waiting for people to come along and talk to you and, oh, do you want a leaflet? You know, that sort of thing. It's a, it's a daunting thing to do to present at an expo, to have a stand at an expo.'cause oh my goodness, you're gonna have so many people walking by and how do you get their attention and how do you talk to them and are they even gonna want what you are offering? And. Even if they do come over willingly and talk to you, are they gonna buy? Probably not. That, probably not is something you've said to yourself. But they could, they could love you, they could want to know more about you, but you're keeping yourself small. Stood behind that stand. Just waiting for somebody to talk to you. What if you could step into yourself and show up and come out from behind that stand and stand to the side of it and be approachable? You know, when you take that table out, that's the barrier gone. Maybe people will just say hi as as they're walking by, you know, just smile at them and say hello, and maybe that'll start a conversation. Again, what are you wearing? Are you showing up as your best self? Are you bringing everything that you have to offer in the way you present yourself? Are you wearing what you want to wear? Are you wearing those clothes, those colors that represent who you are and who your brand is? Or are you dulling yourself down? But what if somebody remembered you for your bright clothes, for your bright smile, for your personality, when they speak to you at these events, these events where you are marketing yourself and your marketing your business. Maybe you are standing by the wall at a networking meeting hoping somebody will come and talk to you instead of you making the first move. Now, do not get me wrong. I know how scary it is to walk into a networking meeting, especially if you're going on your own. You walk into this room full of people that maybe, you know, maybe you don't know, but it's daunting. I get it. I totally get it. But what if you are the one person at that networking meeting that people have enjoyed talking to? Are you staying small and you're not approaching other people? Because what if they don't like talking to you? What if they're not interested in you? Well, no, they might not be because not everybody is for everybody in this world. But what if you were the one person in that meeting that when somebody left, they went, oh, thank goodness there was somebody I enjoyed talking to today. We all know, I say, we all know if you are in business or if you've ever been to a networking event, you know that there are people in that room that you would do anything to avoid once you've spoken to them once. There are people that always seem to be there. There are people that show up at every single networking meeting that you go to every event, every single one. And while you are in the room, you're like, please don't talk to me. Please don't talk to me, and you do everything you can to avoid them. And you are grateful for the person that you know and like, and you see them and you make a beeline for them over the room and you say, oh God, thank God you are here. And then you have a chat. Well, what if you were that person for people? What if you gave people a chance to get to know you? And this is not just in business, this is in everyday life. What if you. Showed up. What if you didn't play small and stay quiet? What if you talked to people and they got a chance to know you and know the real you, not the small, you not the person that's hiding, not the person that's staying small, but you and your personality and your offer and what you have to offer the world. What if people got a chance to do that? What about if you are skipping dessert even though you really want it, because you don't want to be that person who's still eating. I think we've probably all been to. Meals out where everybody's like, do you want a dessert? Do you want a dessert? Or the waitress comes over or waiter comes over and says, can I give you the dessert menu? And you look around the table and everyone's going, not for me. Thanks. No, not for me. Oh, no, I couldn't possibly. Oh, I'll just have a coffee. And inside you are screaming. Please, someone else. For the love of God, please have pudding because I want some. And. You do what the rest of the table does and you say, no, not for me. Thanks. Why? What is it that you're worried about now? I will happily order a dessert and have it come to the table and then enjoy it when everybody else is going, oh, wish I'd ordered one now. Because that does happen. You have yours and then somebody regrets their decision to not have dessert. And even if there are not those people at your table, even if they're happy with their coffee or whatever, just sitting there with nothing, just finishing off their drink, you know, whatever they're doing while they're having no pudding falls, even if you are the only person sat there eating. What's the problem with that? What is the problem with that? There is no problem. What could possibly happen in this situation that is so bad that you shouldn't sit and eat dessert on your own? Why should you not enjoy the food that you want to enjoy? Are you keeping yourself small? Are you doing things here just to appease other people? Because that's what this is. You are doing it to fit in with the other people. You are doing it so that you are not delaying anybody else, or you are not offending anybody else, or you are not drawing criticism from anybody else or judgment for anybody else. But does it matter if those people are judging you or waiting for you, whatever. You know, if it doesn't matter what they're judging you on, it really doesn't matter. If they are judging you for having pudding, well then I feel sorry for them because they really should have other things in life to be worried about. And if they are not enjoying waiting for you to finish eating well, do you know what? They can get up and go somewhere else, can't they? There's nothing making them sit at the table. There is nothing making them sit there. They could get up, they could go to the toilet, they could go to the bar. They could go outside for a breath of fresh air. If they're in a hurry and they need to be somewhere else, fine, let them politely go on their way. But really what benefit to you is not having that dessert if you don't want it. If you do want it, rather, where is the benefit to you? Through saying no when you want to say yes. You are just keeping yourself small for the sake of other people or for the fear of what other people have to say. And this stuff's subtle, isn't it too? We often brush it off as, oh, it's just who I am. It's just me. But over time, those moments all stack up. Every time you do something to fit in, to please other people, to not stand out, to not have your voice, to not bring attention to yourself, to not, um, encourage comments that you don't really want because you don't feel comfortable with them. All you are doing is telling your brain in a very quiet, subtle, damaging way. I have to stay small to stay safe because that's what this is. Remember, remember, it's a protection mechanism. So before we go into anything else, let's just pause a minute to understand why we do it.'cause it does make sense. Keeping ourselves small can feel safe. It's often something we learn young to avoid the conflict, to blend in, to stay liked, to not draw our attention to yourself. How many times when you were little were you told to speak when you're spoken to or to calm down and stop showing off or sit down, don't make a show of yourself. Maybe you were praised for being quiet. Maybe you were praised for being easygoing. Maybe you were made to feel like your body or your voice or your personality were too much. And so now without even thinking about it, you play safe and you try and dumb it down. But here's the thing, while that strategy might have protected you once upon a time, it's not helping you now. It is still protecting you from those things that you are worried about, but those things that you are worried about, are they really something to be worried about and scared of? Because you are right now protecting yourself against something that could be brilliant? It could be positive, but because you think it's a negative, because do you think it's an unsafe situation? You are keeping yourself small and protecting yourself against it. In reality, is it stopping you from living a full, bold, delicious, gorgeous life that you actually really want? When you are keeping yourself small, what are you missing out on? Are you missing out on opportunities? Are you missing out on experiences? By keeping yourself small, you are making sure that you feel unseen and passed over. So if you step out of that, what are you getting back? You are being seen, you are being considered, you are being included. When you keep yourself small, you get frustrated. At yourself, at the world. Maybe it's something you recognize that you do and you get annoyed with yourself for it. Maybe you get upset at the world because it forces you to stay small, but all the time it's dulling your sparkle and that is not what you are made for. That is not what you are here for. You are here. To have a full life. You were not made to blend in. You are not made to agree with everyone. You are not a, you're not made to always wait your turn. You are put on this earth to live. I firmly believe that we are all put here for a purpose. I now believe that coaching is my purpose. Coaching and healing and helping people to work through their challenges around this sort of stuff. I believe that's what I'm here for. But if I kept myself small, I would not be having this conversation with you now. I would not be putting my opinions out across my podcast, across social media with the people I talk to. I don't keep my voice small around this stuff anymore because I know that's what I'm here to do. Our time on this earth is short. We are here for a reason. We all have a purpose. There is a concept, um, in, I think Hinduism, Buddhism, that sort of thing that is called Dharma, and it's exactly this. It is your duty. It is what you are here for. It is what you are put on the earth for. It is cosmic order. It is what you are here to experience and your purpose for being. We all have this dharma that we are supposed to be fulfilling, and in order to do that, you have to show up. You have to take up space. You have to let people see you. Your joy, your weirdness, your smarts, your kindness, your appetite, all of this stuff. You don't have to become loud and extroverted and performative if that's not you. That's not what taking up space means. That's not what showing up means. It's not about being the biggest voice in the room. It's about being fully you without any kind of apology. When you can do that, you can fulfill that dharma. You can fulfill what you are put here to do. So taking up space, not staying small, it looks like wearing the top you love, even if it's bold and bright, saying just one thing. In the next meeting you are in, if you usually say nothing, going up to someone first, a networking, meeting, dancing, even if that's at the side of the dance floor. Not on the dance floor, ordering the dessert and savoring every bit of it. Correcting somebody if they interrupt or they talk over you. That's a really important one. Staying small means allowing people to talk over you and stop you in your tracks, and you say, hang on a minute. No, no, no, I'm still speaking. And you don't have to be shitty and shirty about it, you just say, oh no, hold on. I haven't quite finished. It is not okay for people to talk over you. It's not okay for people to interrupt you, but staying small means you do that. You let them do that. Taking a bit bit more space and showing up means sharing your opinion, even if it's difficult and even if it's different to other people's. It's taking a photo of yourself because you feel good. There's a whole thing around selfies isn't there? Quite often we see selfies as very self-absorbed stuff. You know, there's, there's always somebody in your feed isn't there? Who takes selfie after selfie, after selfie, after selfie. Well, so be it. If they're feeling good about themselves, why not? I mean, obviously I would like that to be filter free and just because they feel good about themselves. But why shouldn't you take a photo just because you feel good? It is not self-absorbed and attention seeking to feel good about yourself and to take a photo. Staying small means waiting for a goal, weight, or a milestone of some kind, showing up and enjoying your life. I. That's taking a photo of yourself now, and you don't have to do it all at once. You don't even have to do most of it. Just start small. I know we said, you know, stop playing small. Stop making yourself small, but start small. That feels like a bit of a contradiction, doesn't it? Just start. Start somewhere, because every time you make one of those choices, you are sending a message to yourself and to other people that says, I am allowed. To take up space. I am allowed to live my life. I will show up and have the best time while I'm here on this earth. So here is a little reflection for you this week. Where are you still keeping yourself small? Does does anything that I've said here in this episode resonate with you? And if it does. If there is something that you do that stops you showing up fully, what is one tiny thing you could do this week to take up a bit more space to step out of that, to grow a little bit. Doesn't have to be grand, doesn't have to be dramatic, but just has to be real and it has to be aligned with what you want your life to be. And if you try something, tell me, send me a message, leave me a comment, whatever works for you. I wanna celebrate with you. I want you to post a comment or send me a message or anything. Comment on, um, the Instagram post for this episode or the LinkedIn post, if that's where you are. I wanna celebrate with you. If these things matter, say, share. Tell me what you've done to step out of playing small, and I will celebrate with you and if you need a bit more support with this because this stuff is not easy, uh, whether that's in your body, whether that's in work capacity, professional capacity, whether it's in just life in general. That's exactly what coaching is for, and you don't have to do it on your own. So I am here and if you need any help, just use the link in the show notes and let's have a conversation about how coaching can help you. Talking about comments, let's talk about your comments this week. I need a, I need a, what do I need? I need a title for this section of the podcast, don't I? I need a title. Uh, you let me know what I can call it. I don't wanna just call it your comments. I want it to be a bit more interesting than that. I'm not very creative with this stuff though, so if you've got any ideas, you'll have to share them with me. So here's the comments that I've had this week, Miriam, she said. In response to the hedonic eating episode last week, I enjoyed this episode and I agree that attaching guilt to food is not helpful. It is more likely to create a cycle of restriction and overindulging. I. Then I had a bit of a conversation with her, uh, about whether she liked intuitive eating or dieting or, you know, what she thought. And she said she's gonna try intuitive eating because she was doing Slimming World, but it's causing her some anxiety because now she's weighing herself all the time, even though they don't recommend that. And recently the restrictions having the opposite effect of making her comfort eat and creating this never ending cycle. And that's what dieting does, isn't it? You know, it makes you obsessed about the scales and your food and, ugh. She said that she gets that intuitive eating is not a diet, it's a way to improve your relationship with food. And she's working her way through all my videos. So she's learning a lot and finds them very helpful and that's amazing. I'm so happy there was so much in that conversation that I just wanted to celebrate because it's nice when people are just finding things like my podcast and starting to. Listen to it and take it in and see if it would work for them. And it's also great when I hear anybody say, now I see what dieting is doing or has done to me, and I don't want that anymore. So that's brilliant. I also quite like it when somebody says, I found you. I found your podcast and I'm gonna start right at the beginning. I mean, that's dedication. That's a lot of my voice. That's a lot of listening. But I love it. I love hearing that. Glenda said she really loved that episode. It was so interesting. I don't know about anyone else, but it's almost like you've got a spy ham and are able to read my mind at times, especially the eat it all now and then start afresh. That's me. I like that. Do I have a spy ham? Do I not have a spy cam? Who knows? No. No spy cams going on, but it's great because. You are not the only person who thinks this. That's what this boils down to. A lot of these things are like, I'm able to read your mind 'cause I've been there.'cause I know it because I have heard it, felt it, seen it done it. And it's so common for so many people. But we think it's just us. We should think it's just us thinking it or experiencing it. And it's not. It's not. So, yep. Right here with you. And then Ray just said, thanks for another thought provoking episode. You are very welcome. That's what I'm here for. I hope these episodes do that. I hope they just provoke some new thoughts, some new ways of thinking about things, giving you some different perspectives. Some of them you might love. Some of them you might go, what a load of rubbish. Terri. Go ask Chantel. She thinks everything I say is rubbish, but um. That's what I'm here for. I'm here to help you think about things slightly differently, so I'm glad that's doing that, right. I'm off. I'm done here. Until next time, go and shine a little bit brighter. Go play a little bit bigger and let me know how you get on. See you later. Bye-bye.