Does What You Wear Really Affect How Seriously People Take You?

There's a rule a lot of women in business are still following, and that a lot of women are actually still worried about – whether to dress professionally, and how to dress the part for the event they’re going to. For some women it really changes the way they carry themselves and speak, and for some it determines whether they’ll actually turn up in the first place.

But where did that rule actually come from? And does it still hold?

In this episode I challenge the idea that formal equals credible, and explore why dressing with personality, colour and individual style doesn't undermine your authority (and that it can actually strengthen it). 

I’m going to tell you about the difference between dress code and personal style. This is a conversation about what you wear, why it matters, and who you're actually dressing for in the first place.

In this episode I cover:

• The networking room moment that challenged my previous thoughts about professional dress
• Why context matters and the industries where dress codes exist for real, legitimate reasons
• The impossible tightrope women are still walking when it comes to appearance in business or in the workplace
• The difference between a dress code and personal style, and how one is imposed and one is chosen
• Why the most distinctive women in business are often the most trusted and remembered
• How dressing for yourself rather than for external approval changes everything
• Why business casual for women has nothing to do with abandoning professionalism and everything to do with authenticity

Key takeaways:

• You don't have to dress like everyone else to be taken seriously
• A dress code is a rule someone else gave you. Your style is yours.
• The women who look like themselves are usually the ones people remember
• Dressing for other people's approval is tiring, and it shows in what you do.
• Your style is part of your brand. Don't sacrifice that to please other people.
• Nobody wrote the professional dress rules for you. You don't have to follow them.

Mentioned in this episode:

• My new membership – The Rise Community. There will be just 22 founding member spaces. After that you will sign up at the full monthly price. If you want one of those slots you need to be on the waitlist. Join that here: https://terripugh.com/the-rise-waitlist-may-2026/

Transcript

2:03

Happy Bank Holiday to you, if you're in the UK. Happy Bank Holiday. What a scorcher. What an absolute scorcher this is. It is lovely. We're coming into summer, This is the best time of year, honestly. So how are you? It's been a little while. How are you doing? Are you good? I've been chatting back and forth with a few of you on LinkedIn and Instagram and stuff and you know, the same old, same old issues are there, aren't they? But that's why we're here. That's why we talk to each other because women support women and we give ourselves the best spaces to be in and we G each other up and we take no nonsense. from those men who are putting all these old rules in place, right? That's what we do as women. Well, I'd like to think that's what we do as women anyway. That's what I try to do. That's what I always try to do for women. And if all women behave like that, wouldn't the world be a wonderful place? Be lovely, wouldn't it? Maybe women should just rule the world. That'd be nice. I watched a film actually. Let me find it. me, hang on. I'm going to pause the recording, going to go find it. Then I'll come back. One minute. Okay, got it. It's called Ladies First. And it is so funny. I mean, it's just a bit of cheesy nonsense, but it's a basically this real chauvinist pig of a man. And he heads up this company or rather he's in senior management and he is going for this role as head of the company, like ultimate head of company. And he is so sure he's going to get it. And along his way, he is treading on all the women that he can find treating them really badly. Uh, you know, having lots of one night stands with them and buying them nice things in the morning, you know, all that kind of crap. And he talks to his female counterparts at work really, really badly. He treats them all with such disdain. He really disrespects. Um, yeah, really disrespects the women around him in the workplace and the the secretaries and things like that. You know, the people who are actually really, really bloody hard workers in the workplace without people like the secretaries places fall down, right? Receptionist secretaries, basically frontline, frontline staff, places fall down without these people. And anyway, he, he goes out of his way to be rude to people. Probably doesn't intend it. Doesn't realize what he's saying. And there is one part where they're all sat in a meeting room. This woman has been given a promotion and she is this one woman as a creative director and she's now sat in this boardroom full of men and they basically tell her to shut up. I mean, that's, that's the effect of it. I won't spoil it for you because if you're going to go and watch it, then I won't tell you all about it. But basically this guy has a little knock to the head and he wakes up in a world where women are. that man. Women are the superior species and the men are the lowly ones, you know. It's a bit of good fun but I thought, God, that's really comical. The little ways that they've been very clever about how they've created that film are just brilliant. Things like um shop signs. So Victoria's secret is now Victor's secret. And our men is our woman. So there's lots of nice little ways in which they have really thought about the detail of how men show up in the world and how, what, what it would look like if women took that part. It's brilliant. It's re it's just good fun, right? Don't go watch it expecting to see a massive blockbuster movie, but it's good fun. And it's really interesting to see how if women behaved like men. and had those roles that men had, what it would look like. It's just so fun. So yes, that's what I've watched this week. um It made me chuckle at least. I went to a networking event. I was a guest speaker and I went in and I was doing a presentation on how body image shows up in your business. And when I was stood at the front of this room, I was looking around, I was looking at all the fabulous women in that room. I mean, you can't really not, can you, when you're stood in front of a group of people, you can't not look at them. But I'm a bit of a people watcher, so I was... looking at them and seeing what their reactions were and what they were doing and their mannerisms and things like that. And I noticed something. I noticed something. These women were not dressed in stereotypical business wear. Now, this is a Chamber of Commerce networking event. For those who don't know what the Chamber of Commerce is, it's got a reputation for being very old boys, um, very stuffy, very formal, very, very business, you know, very business like, and it's not really like that now. I really see a change in it. And it's really nice to be in some spaces where there are lots of women in business and the people in the chamber seem to be taking business very seriously, but in a really nice way. And that's the kind of spaces I want to be in. So. I was looking at these women, was thinking, they're all business women in this room. They are either business owners or people in senior positions in business. And they were all dressed in very different ways. Some were very relaxed. Some were smart casual. Some had a bit of personality and a bit of edge to it. Some were very professionally dressed. But whatever people were wearing, it didn't affect how I thought about them and their business, right? I was really critiquing this in my head because I wanted to think, right, what do I actually think about this? Because what I saw in that room was a load of women doing business. And I really wanted to think about what I thought about that. So I thought, actually, I don't think of them any less for being casually dressed. I don't trust them less. I don't take them less seriously. And I don't question their credibility. For me, actually, if anything, it made it feel more real. more human, more relatable. Like I was in a room full of actual people rather than just a load of suits. Those spaces are not for me. They're not for me. I don't want to be in a room full of people who are very formally dressed. Everybody's formally dressed and they all stand there suited and booted and they're doing business. know, I want personality. I want to see personality in people. And that actually stuck with me a bit because it contradicts the rule that a lot of women have to follow and still do follow the rule that we have to show up and dress very professionally if we want to be taken seriously. And I don't even think that it's just men that are that are spreading this message. I do know of a stylist who has the belief that In order to be taken seriously, you have to dress very professionally. If you are in business, you dress professionally. And there is no kind of, um, humor in this. She means it. She says it with conviction. If you are in business, you should be dressing professionally to be taken seriously. Well, that's not wrong everywhere. Okay. That's not wrong all across the board. There are places where that. matters. There are places where you have to be dressing properly and what's the word I'm looking for appropriately for the situation you're in. But I think that's the same whatever you do, wherever you go, whatever event you go to. Right? Men are the people that created this rule. Okay, that's where it came from. Men were the business people. Women started getting positions in male spaces in these businesses and therefore they had to dress the part to be accepted and to be given the role and to fit in. Okay. There were expectations placed on these women by these men. This is also though, now something that because women are conditioned to think this, that women pass on. But it's also something that makes women feel quite uncomfortable. And quite honestly, it's something that stops women doing an awful lot of things. It will stop them standing and talking comfortably in a room. It'll stop them having any kind of personality because they just stood there formal thinking about how uncomfortable they feel in these clothes. It'll even stop some women walking into a room in the first place. If they do not feel that they look good and feel good in a suit or in very smart attire, they just won't go to these events. They just won't put themselves in these positions in the workplace. They just will not head up a business. And that's a real shame because people have got much more to offer than the clothes that they're wearing. We've definitely got into the space of business casual for women. It's not necessarily full on formal all the time anymore. There is this business casual kind of approach, but even that's not as casual as the men in those roles. Sometimes even business casual for women looks like much more formal attire. It probably doesn't feel that casual. So it might be a smart pair of trousers and a smart top, a smart blouse, as opposed to black trousers, white shirt, white, black jacket. Do you know what I mean? So even business casual can look very different to women as it can for men. And it's a real shame that women get so hung up on their clothes and what they're going to wear to work, you know? There are many ways that we can be dressing for confidence at work. We can be dressing in a way where we feel comfortable and we feel like ourselves. So it's a real shame that people still hold this view. It's a real shame that people are still expecting women to go into these networking spaces, for example, and be formally dressed, professionally dressed, you know, that sort of thing. It's not everywhere, it isn't, but it is still quite prevalent. And the fact that I stood there at the front of this room and was looking around thinking, look, so many people not in formal business dress now. That's quite telling, I think. I wonder how many of you listening are doing this without question. How many of you go to work dressed as you're expected to dress and not as you want dress? And how many of you don't question it? And how many of you have done that for years and years? And if you could, you would throw out your dress code and you would wear something completely different to work, but you don't. because you don't wanna stand out and you do not wanna be questioned about it or judged for it. wearing a bright pink pair of trousers or a bright pink skirt might scare the crap out of you. I mean, it's not my thing. wouldn't, I don't think wear bright pink trousers, but I do have some coloured trousers and I do have some patterned trousers. Would I wear those to a formal office? I'd like to think I would now because of what I do, but when I was in corporate, would I have done that? No. because I know that that would make me stand out and people would question what I was wearing. And the same with tops really, know, do you wear very muted tones head to toe or are you going in wearing bright orange, bright yellow, bright blue, bright pink, you know, what kind of tops are you wearing? Is that a choice or is it because you're doing what's expected to be done? Women's business attire is quite, it's quite different to men's in that men are quite often expected to turn up in trousers and shirts, trousers, shirt and tie, depending on the job. It is kind of assumed that smart dress for men is going to be a shirt and trousers. And I appreciate that's got a place. But for those men, The colors are always muted. I mean, you wouldn't get a man going into the workplace dressed in a bright yellow shirt, would you? They wouldn't go into the workplace in a bright pink satin shirt. And that makes me chuckle just thinking about it, but they're not going to, they? Because that's not what's the norm for men. That's not what men do. Women have got such... a wider range of options when it comes to business attire. Whether they choose to go and wear it though is a different matter. There are lots of very nice coloured patterned clothes out there that are perfectly suitable for the workplace. but we choose not to wear them because of what people might say or think of us. Now, of course, context is everything, okay? This isn't a free for all for all people. I understand that context really does matter. Some industries have got standards that exist for real legitimate reasons. So for example, a solicitor going into court, you really do want your solicitor dressing pretty smartly, don't you? If you are in court for something, and your solicitor rocks up in a tracksuit, a tracksuit, where did that come from? You're gonna be questioning it. I mean, if they just rock up in leggings and a t-shirt, they're trainers, they've just kind of swung by after the gym, you're not gonna have a whole load of faith in them. If you met with your surgeon before an operation, if you met with... is going legal in my head. else? Bank professionals, for example. Bank professionals. If you are going in to talk to your bank manager about a vast amount of money, you do not want him sat there in a shell suit. Who remembers the shell suits? I had a very bright yellow one. Glad there aren't any photos of that. But, you know, if I walked into the bank to talk to my bank manager about a large sum of money, I do not want him to be sat there in a bright yellow shell suit. I don't even want him sat there in jeans and a jumper. I want to know that that man is going to work dressing and feeling like a professional every day. Why did I say man? Why did I say man there? Look how ingrained in his. I want him to. Wow. My bank manager could quite easily be a woman, by the way, just saying. Wow, that's mad, isn't it? It's just so ingrained. Anyway, the point still stands. If I'm going into these places to talk to very professional people, I do want them to be dressed appropriately. Nobody's asking people to dress out of context. However, when you are running a business, when you are going to networking spaces, when you are approaching potential clients even. There is no need most of the time to be totally suited and booted. The mistake that we make is taking rules from the really professional environments and applying them everywhere. Coaches, consultants, creatives, entrepreneurs, the rules are really different for them. I had this conversation with a friend of mine who's in business. She's a web designer and we had the conversation around dress code and what we wear to these spaces and what we wear to work. Now she's a creative. She is a web designer. I do not expect to go and have a meeting with her. She did create my new website by the way, go and have a look terrypugh.com but that's by the by. I don't expect to go and have a meeting with her about my new website and find her sat there in a three piece suit and you know, highly polished heels and tights and dressed pristinely. I'm quite happy to rock up and she's there in jeans and a jumper, jeans in a casual top, whatever she wants to wear. I couldn't care less. She is there to do a job. She is there to create my website. If she is sitting in a suit all day long, can tell you now she's not going to be comfortable in the work that she's doing. Agree? This goes for a lot. The same thing for artists. eh Can you imagine, can you imagine an artist, think of the wackiest, craziest artist that you've ever seen. You know, someone with real flair and real kind of out the box thinking and they're splashing paint all over the place, all over this easel and they're creating and they're like, this is beautiful, darling, la la la. know, think crazy, mad artist. What are they wearing? They're not wearing a suit, are they? They're not wearing a suit because it's not appropriate for the work that they're doing. So what is your role and what is appropriate dress for you? Now, if you're listening to this and you are in one of those professions where you do need to be highly dressed, then so be it. But are you in a role where you can have some personal style at work? Can you bring your own personal style into this? Are you a coach? Are you a creative? Are you an entrepreneur? Are you in a role where when you talk to clients, they need to be relaxed around you and just chilled and trusting in you? The way you dress is not only making a difference to you and how you feel, but also to them and how they're reacting and interacting with you. Now men obviously resolved this a long time ago. Smart casual has been fine for men in business settings for quite a while now. It is not unheard of for men to go to work in smart trousers and a polo shirt, for example. But women are still told that appearance is a measure of seriousness. It's very different. It's very, very different. You can't deny that. It is this impossible balance to find, isn't it? You're either too casual or you're too formal or you're too bold or you're not making an effort. There is no winning. In fact, the only winning is to fit in and dress like the men are dressing. There isn't any other winning if you are in a business with men on the whole. It's another version, isn't it, of the same old pressure. Conform, shrink, minimise yourself, be quiet, earn your place by looking the part. It's the same old story. So what I want you to think about going forward is that what you choose to wear is going to be one of two things. It is either going to be a dress code that's been imposed on you, or it's going to be your personal style. Dress code versus personal style. two different things. Dress code is imposed, right? Dress code is compliance. and conforming and personal style is choosing. It's identity. It's you bringing out your personality. Unfortunately, we've spent so long confusing the two that now dress code and style just kind of gets intermingled and it's not the case. It's not the case. And quite often the places that are asking for these dress codes, well, they really, they really don't have a place to do that because it's unnecessary. But also women are following dress codes in spaces that actually have never asked for a dress code. There are spaces that you are going into. Dressed as you see fit, dressed as you're thinking you should be dressed. And nobody has ever laid it out and said you have to wear that. Now, the chamber networking event that I was talking about, for example, no one ever said to me, right, come and speak at this event. What I want you to do though is wear this style of clothes. I want you to be professional looking. I want you to wear trousers, shirt, jacket, and um I want it to be in dark colors, la la. Nobody said that. yet some people do walk into these rooms and wear it because they think it's what is expected of them. Do you see what I mean? Now using style as a confidence and identity tool, that is something you can work on. I've got other episodes on using personal style and developing personal style and choosing the clothes that you wear and things. So I won't go down that route now, but what I'm trying to ask you to take from this episode is that there is a difference between putting on a costume to be taken seriously and wearing something that's genuinely you. When you dress like yourself, you show up differently. You will have a different energy and a different presence. Your appearance is part of your personal brand, right? And you want that to be an authentic personal brand. Authentic, everybody says authentic, don't they? But it's true, I want you to be authentically you. Your personal brand is about you being you, not you conforming to. what other people expect of you. And it will be the details that matter. So maybe for you, you are a person that loves bright colours and would love to wear bright colours into the next meeting you went into. For me, that's not my bag. I do like colour, but I'm not one to put on the really bright colours, the big bold prints, that sort of thing. That's not naturally what I do. For me, It's more about colour and jewellery and having my nails done and you know, the touches. That's what it is for me. I think that I'm a smart casual. That's what I am. I use color, but it's quite understated. But I do like to wear it. It's not too loud, but it is there. And it's where I feel comfortable. I think I can walk into most rooms and fit in. And whether that is a room that's formal or a room that's dressed down, I'm not too far out of it at either point. So style doesn't really have to be shouty and loud for you to have an impact. But the impact really more importantly should be on you and wearing what you feel so that you can turn up to work feeling comfortable. You can dress with personality and go to work, you know. I mean, I'd be interested to know, does what you wear affect your confidence at work? I'd be really interested to hear from you. You might be listening to this going, it doesn't bother me. It really doesn't bother me. I just get on with it. Or you might be thinking, yes, yes, yes, yes, it really does. It really dims me and I would be much better and much more comfortable if I could wear something else. Also, interestingly, trust, the trust element. Now, going back to those professionals that I was talking about, the lawyers and the bank managers and all that sort of thing. I will trust them more if I go in and they are sat there looking like they're there being serious in their role. Okay, because that's the kind of roles they've got. However, if I meet with somebody and they are running their business or they're in their role, whatever their role is within a business. And they are dressing as they are comfortable. And they are still saying the right things and taking the right actions and really kind of impressing me with what they're saying and doing. I'm going to trust them. There isn't anybody in that networking space that I looked at and thought, I don't trust you because of what you're wearing. That's because trust is built on that authenticity that I was talking about. And it is built on consistency and it is built on your competence. It is not built on whether you're wearing a jacket or not. It is not built on what color you're wearing. Okay. I trust the person that shows up in the same way. Every time I see them, I trust the person that I don't get the impression that they're putting a front on. And the clothes will form a part of that because if they dress the same sort of way every time I see them, I'm gonna trust in them. The irony is that most stylish women, most stylish women, most distinctive women, the women who dress as they want to, the women who have got their own personal style, the women who look like they love wearing what they're wearing, they are often the most memorable and the most trusted for me. I will quite often remember somebody based on what they're wearing that day, not in a judgy way, but... I might think, oh, such and such. Yeah. Remember her. She came to this event. She was wearing, you know, the leopard print top. It's part of how I recognise people. And if you've got a particular thing that you do, a particular style, a particular type of dress, you're going to be recognisable, especially if you're consistent with that. I will know who you are. before you open your mouth, because I've seen you on social media or I've seen you um in photos in other rooms with other people. There is somebody that I'm quite friendly with back and forth in networking circles and she wears a Superman t-shirt and it's red and that is what she wears all the time. And I recognise her for that. So we get confused, don't we, looking at the thing that we're trying to portray with how we try and portray it. And clients don't hire you because of your outfit, right? Maybe they do if you have got a very quirky dress code. Dress code, dress. You know, if you like to dress a certain way, if you're a little bit wacky or if you're super relaxed and they like that a lot, maybe they will hire you because of that. What they're actually hiring you for is how you make them feel. How that dress code makes them feel. How what you wear makes them feel. They might feel like they are relaxed around you or they resonate with you or they just love what you have to offer or they like the fact that you're a little bit different or they feel like they can be themselves around you, that sort of thing. They will hire you for that and what you can do for them, obviously. And how you do dress affects how you feel. It's very worth acknowledging. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that anyway. You'll know that if you put the wrong clothes on, you feel terrible, but dressing for yourself and dressing for external approval are completely different things. One will fill you up. One will drain you. One will make you feel good about yourself and one will have the opposite effect. So when women start dressing for themselves, Even just by making small changes, it creates this shift in how they present themselves into the world. this small act, this very small act in the morning when you're getting ready for your day can have this massive ripple effect on the day. If you get up and you put on clothes that make you feel a bit drab and a bit frumpy and a bit just meh, that's how your day pans out. If you dress... confidently in clothes that you really like, then you are going to have a day that reflects that. You're going to be happier. You're going to put this different energy into your work. And then that ripples out onto the other things as well. You cannot show up fully in lead with presence if you are trying to fit somebody else's idea of what is credible or professional. So the bottom line is you do not have to dress the part. You do not have to dress like a professional in the old traditional sense of the word. You just have to dress like you. Know your context, know where you fit in, know what your level of professionalism is expected to be. Because if you are a lawyer, please don't all of a sudden start rocking a with trainers and tracksuit on. But you know what I mean? Know your context. Respect the room where it matters. So if you are going into a place where you are expected to wear formal attire, please do respect that still, but find your own way to do that. And personality isn't unprofessional. You know, it doesn't have to be unprofessional. Style is not frivolous. Formal. is not necessarily credible or, oh, I was gonna say incredible. That's not the opposite of credible, is it? Is it? Incredible is incredible. em You know what mean. mean? Formal does not equal credible or not credible. It's time to stop talking, isn't it? So dress code is something that's imposed on you. Style is something you choose. Start choosing. Choose which one you want. Choose which one you can adapt. Choose the one that makes you feel good about your day and go with it. And uh if you would like to put yourself in a space where women are free to be themselves and other women, big them up and make them feel great about themselves. I am launching a brand new membership. So it's a membership for women in business and it's called the Rise Community. It's very exciting. And basically it's a membership for women in business who have got all the skills, all the experience, all the results, the great stuff to offer the world and are now ready to stop being the only ones who bloody know it. You know, sometimes we do not put ourselves out into the world the way we should. don't sing our pra- We don't sing and shout about what we have to offer. We just kind of be a bit quiet about it and we don't really celebrate it. And then we talk about ourselves, you know, in a minimal fashion and, no, no, no, just, no, it's just a little business. You know, it's just a little thing. No, it's not. No, it's not. It is awesome. And I want to create this, this space where women can feel motivated and encouraged and strong and like they can shout from the rooftops what they do. I am so excited about it. It's gonna be confidence building. It's going to provide a community of women for other women to support other women. And it's gonna be action taking, right? We are going to be going into the most empowering, supportive, forward moving membership you've ever been a part of. You're not coming into this. membership just to sit on the sidelines and watch, right? We are going to be doing things. I'm going to be celebrating you. We're going to be celebrating each other. We are going to get stuff done. We are going to get your business moving. We are going to get you speaking positively about yourself. I'm so excited that I can't even talk about it properly. um Also, I've got some really nice little things planned. So I've got I've got loads of stuff to tell you about what's going to be in the membership. I just don't want to waffle on here for another half an hour. So if you want to know all about it, join the wait list, right? The doors will be opening soon. There are going to be 22 founding member spaces available. That is all. It's not very money. To put that into context, this podcast, gets reached by hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people every week. And my email list goes out to hundreds and hundreds of people several times a week. And it goes out on social media. So there are an awful lot of people with eyes on this. If you want one of those 22 founding member spaces, you need to be on the wait list because I'll open the doors there before I open it publicly. Now, Uh, you will come in as a founding member. I will be talking to you. You'll be giving me feedback. You'll be helping to shape it. You'll be telling us what you need from the community and I can make that happen for you. You'll get it at a reduced rate as well. So once those 22 spaces are filled at the reduced rates, everybody goes in at full price then. So there's lots of reasons why you'll want to be one of those founding members. Get on the wait list. Get on the wait list. I don't know how much more strongly I can say it to you. Get on the wait list. Louder for those at the back, please join the wait list. The links in the show notes. Okay. And I just want you there. Right. This is where capable women are going to stop feeling like they're just playing a business. They're going to stand tall and show up. And I want you in there doing it with us. Okay. All right. Right. I feel very strongly about this. Can you tell? Okay. I'm going to go and get a drink because it's blooming boiling in this office. Have a lovely, lovely rest of your bank holiday and I will speak to you really, really soon. Bye bye.